Can't Help Loving You
by TheAspirer
Summary: A completed Severus Snape x OC fanfic from my Quibblo account. Cassi Renner is a first-year when Harry begins school, best friends with the Weasley twins and hoping that her magical education will bring her freedom from her home life. She finds freedom, but not where she expected to. Thematically dark at times, but not even close to graphic. R&R appreciated so I can improve!
1. A Whole New World

_Run. Don't stop. Don't panic. Breathe. Run._

Cassi clenched her eyes shut as she raced toward a worryingly solid-looking stone pillar. A short, kind lady had told her that this was the only way to get where she was going, but Cassi had never really trusted people. And yet here she was, barreling headfirst toward a stone wall on the suggestion of a complete stranger. Sensational.

Even though the lady had sent two identical boys (probably her sons, since they all had the same red hair) through the barrier first, their sudden disappearance hadn't done much to reassure Cassi. However, if the train left without her, she wouldn't have anywhere to go but back to her "home". And she wouldn't risk that for the world. So she kept running. Her eyes still closed, she suddenly felt the air around her change. She stopped, then slowly opened one eye-

And had all she could do not to gape at the scene around her, because now it was completely different.

Gone were the impatient Muggles, standing about and arguing loudly with each other. In their place were wizards and witches, some in robes and some in Muggle clothes, some with funny pointed hats and some without, some old and some her age. Gone was the dirt and grime of King's Cross Station, with its dirty and grimy engines and dirty and grimy conductors. Instead was a station much like King's Cross, but without the grunginess, and with a single gleaming red train with letters spelling HOGWARTS EXPRESS in gold along the sides. Gone were the faded tan signs reading "Platform 8" or "Platform 17". There was only one sign here, and it read "Platform 9 3/4". Cassi spun in slow circles, staring at everything she could take in with her big gray eyes. For the first time since she had received her letter of acceptance from the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, the full import of what was happening sunk in. "I'm...I'm actually here," she whispered softly to herself. "I'm here, waiting to leave for Hogwarts just like Mum and Dad, to learn to do magic like them..." A darker thought intruded into her mind as she wondered what kinds of things her "The Dark Forces: A Guide to Self-Protection" textbook would teach her, and whether she would be able to use any of it.

She was so preoccupied with her thoughts that when one hand landed on her right shoulder and another on her left, she jumped and gave a little squeak before whirling around. It was the red-headed boys from earlier.

"Hello," they said in unison. "First time?" She nodded mutely.

"This is our third year," they said together. The one to her left said, "I'm Derick Weasley, and this here's Riley." Here Riley interjected indignantly, "Oy, I'm perfectly capable of introducing myself, thanks. And if you insist on giving out my name, at least give out the right one." He turned to her and smiled. "I'm really Wesley, and this is my idiot twin Bernard." Cassi looked from twin to twin, not sure who to believe. Their names probably weren't even Bernard or Derick at all. After a few seconds, the twins burst out laughing. "Just messing with you, love. I'm George-" she noted he was the slightly taller one "-and I'm Fred." His hair was a little longer than the other's. They both gave funny little bows, and Cassi couldn't help but smile. They reminded her of monkeys with their elbows and knees sticking out everywhere. At her smile, Fred looked over to George and remarked, "I think she's laughing at our good manners, mate."

Not wanting to appear rude and scare off her first friends, the smile instantly vanished and she shook her head frantically. The twins started laughing at her again, and Fred said through a chuckle, "Teasing again. I can see we'll have to get you used to being teased." He threw her a wink, which earned him a small, relieved smile. Just then the whistle blew, signalling five minutes.

"Oy, Freddie, let's stow the lady's trunk for her." "Right you are, Georgie-" and up went the trunk. "Any more goodbyes to say before you board?" inquired Fred. At the shake of her head, George cried, "Then what are waiting for? Off to Hogwarts!" Inwardly laughing, Cassi followed as they led her to an empty compartment. She couldn't believe the changes that were happening so fast, but if she continued to make friends as good as these, she knew she'd do just fine.


	2. Welcome to Your Future

The train ride to Hogwarts was...interesting, to say the least. Cassi soon found out that pretty much any time spent in the infamous Weasley twins' presence was...interesting. But she didn't mind at all.

While on the Hogwarts Express with Fred and George as her primary companions, she did many new things. She met Ron Weasley and his friend, Harry Potter, both of whom she liked. She helped a girl named Hermione help a boy named Neville look for a toad named Trevor. She consumed a Cockroach Cluster for the first time - not because she wanted to, but because the twins tricked her into eating one. Her eyes beheld the largest pile of empty Chocolate Frog wrappers she had ever seen in her life. She was told that her new nickname was Whisper. She liked it. She learned a bit about the Weasley family, about Hogwarts, about Quidditch, and about very little else. However, beyond her name (Cassandra Renner), her blood status (full), and her favorite Quidditch team (none, she hadn't heard of Quidditch), she didn't share much about herself. The twins noticed this, but didn't comment.

Cassi attached herself to Ron and Harry once the first years were separated from the other students for the Sorting. One of the staff, a huge man named Hagrid, told everyone to find a boat. Ron and Harry's boat was full, so she found herself in the last boat with an open seat. There were three boys in it - two looked big and slow and not very bright, but the third had sharp gray eyes and looked as though he would see through any tricks you tried, and would punish you for them. The second Cassi stepped into the boat timidly and sat down, he started talking.

"Hello. The name's Malfoy. Draco Malfoy." He threw a quick glance at her, as if daring her to laugh at his name. When he was sure she wasn't, he continued. "Well I'm not much looking forward to the Sorting ceremony, are you? I mean I already know which House I'll be in, so what's the fun?"

Cassi asked curiously, "How do you know what House you'll be in if you haven't been Sorted yet?" The twins had assured her on the train that she would be a Gryffindor, although they admitted that she would make a good Ravenclaw, too. All of it meant nothing to her for the present, but she had catalogued the information for later reference.

"Well I guess no one knows for certain until the Hat tells them, do they, but I'll be in Slytherin. I know it. My whole family have been for generations. I say, are you pure-blood?" Here it was. Cassi had hoped no one else would ask her this. She didn't mind telling the twins, but after people knew she was a pure-blood they always asked about her parents... "Yes, I am."

"Wonderful! What family are you from?" And there it was. Cassi wished she hadn't answered, but it was too late now. "My father's name was Renner." She cringed, waiting for the inevitable comment about "his name 'was' Renner?" But it never came. Evidently the name didn't ring a bell, but Draco was trying to pretend it did. "Ah yes, Renner..." He quickly changed the subject to something he knew more about.

"Did you see that great monster of a man, what's his name, Haggard, or something? I've heard he's the gamekeeper here, but he's not civilized at all and only Hufflepuffs like him. That's what my father said. The Gryffindors and Ravenclaws put up with him, but not the Slytherins! We know a monster when we see one. We know to keep creatures in their proper places. Why, just the other day our house-elf came up to my father and said..."

Cassi never heard what Draco's house-elf told his father, because just then Hogwarts came into view and took Cassi's breath away.

The castle was beautiful with its many turrets and archways. A forest formed one side of the grounds, while the other sides were open and grassy and interrupted only by a shimmering lake. Towers reached up majestically from among the battlements, and against the deep purple sky, Cassi had never seen anything more magical.

Once all the boats reached the shore and Trevor the toad was found and returned to Neville, Hagrid led the first years up to the main entrance to Hogwarts. There he handed off the students to a stern-looking witch in a large pointy hat with a feather in it. The twins had mentioned a Professor McGonagall? Cassi wished fervently that Fred and George were here to explain things. The professor led the students deeper into the castle. Cassi tried to make her way through the throng towards Harry and Ron, but ended up beside Hermione. She must have looked as nervous as she felt, because Hermione was giving her a reassuring smile when the witch stopped suddenly and began to address the students.

"Welcome to Hogwarts," she began. "The start-of-term banquet will begin shortly, but before you take your seats in the Great Hall, you will be sorted into your Houses. The Sorting is a very important ceremony because, while you are here, your House will be something like your family within Hogwarts." Cassi doubted it. _My family has a track record of abandoning me and hating me,_ she thought grimly. _I don't need any more family. Especially not one this big._ She tried to refocus on what Professor McGonagall was saying.

"While you are at Hogwarts, your triumphs will earn your House points, while any rule-breaking will lose House points." Cassi immediately thought of Fred and George and smiled. "At the end of the year, the House with the most points is awarded the House Cup. It is a great honor. I hope each of you will be a credit to whichever House becomes yours."

Here the professor advised everyone to try and look their best, and as she left, there was hair-smoothing and robe-straightening like Cassi had never seen before in a bunch of eleven-year-olds. Harry tried to tame his mane, Ron rubbed at a smudge on his nose, Hermione straightened her shoulders, and Draco ran a hand over his slicked-back hair. Cassi just stood there wishing for the twins.

The next few minutes were a blur, and without knowing quite how she got there, suddenly Cassi was standing in front of the whole school watching her future classmates be Sorted. Hermione Granger was made a Gryffindor. So was Neville Longbottom. Then Draco Malfoy became a Slytherin, then Harry Potter was a Gryffindor too. Gryffindor seemed to be the place to be; Fred and George were sending her encouraging smiles and thumbs-up whenever she glanced nervously over to the red-and-gold table. All too soon, it was Cassi's turn. What if the Hat couldn't decide where to put her, or worse yet, didn't put her anywhere? What if it sent her home and told her not to show her face in the wizarding world again? But her thoughts were interrupted when she sat down on the stood by Professor McGonagall and the Hogwarts Sorting Hat was placed on her head. She could hear it thinking.

"Good gracious, another dilemma. Children these days, so well-rounded they'd do fine anywhere. Well, well. The wit is strong, but pliable, good...the heart willing, but reasoning, good, good...the resolve is unyielding, but pure...and the mind is resourceful, but dedicated...where shall I put you? Where do you want to be put?"

Cassi thought. So far, all her friends were in Gryffindor. But what if that wasn't the best place for her? Slowly, she told the Hat, _Wherever you decide is where I'll go. No matter what it is. You know better than I do. Even...even if it's Slytherin._

"Well played, my dear, well played," whispered the Hat, "an admirable answer, although you don't make my job any easier. Let's see...I think there's enough support...yes...I'll grant your wish today. Make it GRYFFINDOR!"

The Gryffindor table was all cheering, but Cassi smiled when she saw Fred and George standing on the bench and waving their wands as they shouted. She ran over and squeezed between them, and they both hugged her. Ron was sorted into Gryffindor too, and Cassi was so happy that the Sorting Hat saw the same qualities in her that it saw in her friends.


	3. Thoughts

Cassi lay on her bed in the dorm room she shared with Hermione and another girl, staring at the ceiling. It was late, but she couldn't sleep. She was too excited.

 _How did I end up in Gryffindor?_ she thought to herself. _Why would the Hat put me here?_ What was it the Hat had said about her - "The resolve is unyielding, but pure". _What's that supposed to mean?_ She rolled to her side and stared at the blank stone wall of the Gryffindor girls' dormitories. _Maybe it just means I'm too young to be corrupted yet? No, that can't be it. I've seen enough corruption to last me a good fifty years or so._ She blinked back sudden tears. She rolled to her other side, impatient with herself for being weak.

She decided not to question why she was there, at Hogwarts, ready to start learning to use her magic. Instead, Cassi decided to marvel at everything she'd seen and try to imprint it in her memory so she could remember this day in the years to come. She remembered the expressions on Fred and George's faces when she was Sorted into Gryffindor. She remembered her astonishment when the magic food appeared at Professor Dumbledore's command up and down every table. She remembered the first time she saw Dumbledore himself, with his long silver beard and funny hat. Cassi had looked down the long table of teachers during the feast and silently observed each one, sometimes asking Fred or George their names. A few of the professors in particular had caught her eye.

Cassi had taken an instant liking to Professor McGonagall. The twins didn't seem to fancy her much, but that was probably because they pulled pranks so often. She was the House Head for Gryffindor, and she also taught Transfiguration, which was one of the classes Cassi was most looking forward to. Another witch she liked was Madame Pomfrey. She was the nurse at Hogwarts, fixing broken bones and cuts and concussions with the help of magic. There was one other magician who had caught Cassi's eye. He was a wizard, sitting to one side of Professor McGonagall, casting a disapproving stare over the students. The twins said his name was Snape. He was the House Head of Slytherin.

Cassi had overheard a bit of conversation between Harry and Percy, who were both sitting close. She heard Percy say, "Oh, you know Quirrell already, do you? No wonder he's looking so nervous, that's Professor Snape. He teaches Potions, but he doesn't want to - everyone knows he's after Quirrell's job. Knows an awful lot about the Dark Arts, Snape." Cassi had quickly located Quirrell - a frightened-looking man with a purple turban on his head - and decided he must be the Defense Against the Dark Arts professor. _That's who I want to meet,_ she had thought. _Someone who can teach me to use my magic to defend myself._ Then she had glanced from Quirrell to Snape. Maybe, though, Snape would be better. If he was so passionate about wanting to teach DADA, maybe he'd be more willing to help her outside of class.

Cassi was snapped back to real time by one of her roommates' yawns. She suddenly realized she was exhausted.

 _I'll see how the next few weeks of DADA go,_ she thought sleepily. _If I need something more before I have to go back for the summer, I'll talk to Professor Snape._

The last thing she remembered as she fell asleep was the way Professor Snape's dark eyes had carelessly combed the room full of students, eventually coming to rest on her.


	4. From the Dungeons

_Harry Potter. He's here. Lily and James' son. He's here._

 _He has her eyes._

Severus Snape was pacing the floor of his office long after all the students should have been asleep, trying to figure out why in the name of Merlin's beard he didn't hate Harry Potter's guts.

Harry was the exact image of James Potter, the man who had annihilated any aspirations Snape had ever had of living a happy life. Potter had stolen Lily Evans, the girl who had stolen Snape's heart back when they were in school. Well, ok, Snape had liked Lily even before Hogwarts. But it was at school that Potter had entered the picture. Potter, with his arrogance and good looks and popularity, had stolen Lily from him. _How?_ he asked himself. _How could Lily have chosen Potter over me? What did she see in him? Surely there was something there. Something besides being a good athete and being popular. I treated her poorly, once, but Potter and his whole gang were prats to everyone as a pastime. I may not have been the best, but I certainly didn't deserve to be beaten out by Potter._

He fumed as he sat at his desk, chair swiveling to a stop as he stared at the wall. _I have never deserved this treatment. I never deserved Lily, either,_ he thought as his gaze softened, _she always deserved so much more than anyone here could have offered._ He knew in the core of his soul that there was nothing he could have done to win Lily, regardless of his behavior and regardless of how well and how truly he loved her. Even his best put him nowhere near her level, and there was nothing he could do about it. It was easier, however, to think that life was unfair and that Potter was a git that never deserved Lily, either. Even so, the truth he knew meant that he couldn't hate Harry, not when the boy was half Lily and half Lily's choice.

 _Why couldn't she have picked someone else - anyone else?_ Snape turned back to his desk and began sorting assignments that had been turned in that day. It was late, he wouldn't grade tonight, but the action of sorting the parchments was therapeutic. _Even Lupin with his issues would have at least been understandable. Lily always did like an underdog, he recalled fondly. Every Quidditch match, every owl that got sick, every student struggling with Charms...she was there for all of them. She was there for me._

He continued sorting in silence for a bit. When the stack was gone, he leaned back and stared at it pensively. Lily had always been highly intelligent and was willing to help many students with their homework, but that had never been her favorite part. She loved the practicality of her education and was always Charming or Transfiguring the simplest, most beautiful objects. She had spent many hours with Snape walking outside in the summer or sitting in an empty classroom in the winter, not speaking a word but simply taking turns sharing magic. Creating showers of sparks that change color, making storms out of the dust in the cracks of the walls, helping a rosebud bloom in a matter of seconds, twisting branches into ornate knots, animating pebbles and making them dance. Lily had always been the one to draw out the inner beauty of an object when her magic touched it; Snape was the one to make it bolder and stronger. And somehow, those two things went together perfectly. The beauty of Lily's flowers tempered the darkness of Snape's sandstorms, but when Lily died, there was no one to create that balance anymore. It was just him, living life the only way he knew how, needing another half of himself to rest in balance again. After Lily, he had not found another who could fill the void. He hadn't tried very hard to find someone; he hadn't truly wanted to.

For the first time in ten years, Severus Snape allowed a single tear to escape his dark, tightly-shut eyes. He whispered to the empty room, "I miss you so much..."


	5. First Contact

"Cassi. Cassi, wake up! Come on Cassi, you'll miss breakfast!"

Cassi wearily opened her eyes to find Hermione shaking her awake. Hermione let go of her shoulder so she could sit up. "Cassi, you don't look so good," Hermione fretted, worry evident on her face. "Did you not sleep well again?"

Cassi shook her head tiredly. The nightmares had started. It was almost the holiday recess, which meant the school year was halfway over and soon it would be summer and time to return to her "guardian". Nightmares were a commonplace occurrence for her; no part of her home life was worth returning to. Cassi hoped, however, that she would be allowed to stay at Hogwarts over the summer recess. She was almost afraid to ask, but she had to try.

"Maybe you should go see Madame Pomfrey for some sleeping potion," suggested Hermione. Cassi forced a laugh. "It would take the Draught of the Living Dead to help me," she said jokingly. Hermione laughed too, but offered, "Then maybe you should see Professor Snape, instead."

Cassi smiled, but that was exactly what she was planning to do. The Gryffindors had double Potions with the Ravenclaws today, and with summer rapidly approaching, it was time she asked for those self-defense lessons. Defense Against the Dark Arts was a fascinating class but Professor Quirrell wasn't likely to get to what she needed anytime soon, and maybe feeling more prepared for the summer would help with the nightmares.

That afternoon, after toiling through two periods of potions exploding on every side of her (she was unluckily seated next to Seamus Finnigan), Potions was finally over. Cassi had told Hermione not to wait for her after class, and every other student was so eager to get out of the classroom that it didn't take long for it to empty. Suddenly Cassi was alone with Professor Snape, who sat at his desk grading students' assignments.

"Did you need something, Miss Renner." Snape's voice cut through the silent room, cold and annoyed. However, Cassi had never been as frightened of him as many of the other non-Slytherins were.

"Yes, sir, I do have a question." She paused for a moment, but when he didn't look up, she spoke boldly. "Professor, I was wondering if you would give me defense lessons. I know you're good at Defense Against the Dark Arts, and...well, I was wondering if you could help me." She paused, not sure if he was even paying attention to her.

Snape continued as he was for a few moments, then set down his quill and folded his hands across his desk. His eyes were expressionless as he stared at her. "Are your Defense Against the Dark Arts grades suffering, Miss Renner?"

She responded quickly, "No sir, not at all-"

"Then why do you need private tutoring?"

She thought carefully about how to respond before saying, "Professor Quirrell's class...is not relevant to my needs at the moment, sir."

"Are you insinuating that perhaps Professor Quirrell is not the best teacher for that particular job?"

"No, no, that's not what I meant!"

"Then I suggest you say what you mean, Miss Renner. Vague allusions and abstract comments can easily be construed as something more...sinister than was intended."

This took Cassi aback. How could she explain without revealing every detail of her personal life? She paused. Finally she tried to explain.

"Well, sir, what I mean is that I currently have a need for some form of defensive training, and in my...particular...situation, knowing how to identify Grindylows isn't the kind of training I need. I agree that that knowledge could help me someday, and I enjoy learning it. However, there are other things that I need to know now. And I don't think Professor Quirrell is planning on covering those topics anytime soon. So if I want to learn them in time for them to help me, I need to look somewhere else. Please help me, Professor," she suddenly pleaded. "If you can't help me, I don't know what to do. I need help. Please." She hated to show her emotions so clearly, but she was desperate. _I can't face going back for the whole summer without something to support me,_ she thought. _Please, help me..._

She bit her lip as she waited tensely for Snape's answer. This whole time his eyes had been staring unfeelingly into hers; they gave the impression that he didn't care the slightest bit whether her life depended on these lessons or not. After a minute of silence, he spoke.

"Miss Renner, if you really do need private lessons, I will help you." Cassi almost fainted in relief. "However - you will have to prove to either myself or Professor Dumbledore that these lessons are essential, and that you are not simply trying to cheat your way to the top of your class. Am I clear?" Cassi bit her lip again. What could she say? "Yes, Professor. I understand. I-"

Snape interrupted her. "Not now, Miss Renner. As it is, you'll be late for your next class. If memory serves, you owe me a detention this weekend." Snape let a ghost of a smile pass over his face, and Cassi blushed. Yesterday she had stirred her potion too many times, and it had exploded rather messily. It was the first time her potion hadn't come out at least tolerably, and she couldn't think why she hadn't been paying attention. "We'll discuss your lessons during detention. If you would rather explain your position to Professor Dumbledore than to me I suggest you do so before the weekend."

"Yes, sir," Cassi said quietly. "Thank you, Professor." She headed toward the door of the Potions classroom, trying to decide what to do. She closed the door softly behind her, leaving Snape alone in the classroom, and headed toward her next class.


	6. Wizengamot

"Tell me again, this time a little more slowly and coherently, if you please."

Snape was pacing up and down Dumbledore's office, trying to explain Miss Renner's request to the Headmaster. Unfortunately, he had had to give Potter and Weasley another detention that afternoon, so he wasn't in a particularly charming mood. Still, Snape forced himself to stop pacing, took a deep breath, and turned to face Dumbledore.

"Miss Cassandra Renner has requested that I give her private Defense Against the Dark Arts lessons. She seems to feel that Quirrell's teaching is not covering what she expected. I told her that I would help if she could prove to either you or myself that her reasons for wanting these lessons were in earnest and not as means of sneaking her way to the top of her classes - however, I'm not sure that the Potions master is permitted to tutor in Defense Against the Dark Arts. I wished to make you aware of the situation and inquire as to whether I am permitted to help - should her reasoning prove acceptable, of course."

Dumbledore sighed. "I had a feeling Miss Renner would be coming to you before long, but I didn't think it would be this soon. Her situation must be worse than I thought..."

Snape looked at Dumbledore, astonished. "Has she already spoken with you?" He asked incredulously. "It was only this afternoon she came to me..."

"No, I have not spoken with Miss Renner concerning this topic," Dumbedore said. "However, I can boast prior knowledge. Tell me, Severus, what do you recall of Edward Renner?"

Snape paused. "Not much," he said thoughtfully. "He was four years behind me when we came here. Gryffindor, very popular, always seemed to be able to find something to smile about. Quidditch player, quite skilled. I seem to recall he had a particular affinity for Defense Against the Dark Arts, and he planned on teaching it someday. He married a Ravenclaw girl from his year, Danielle Lucas, wasn't it? And they were both killed -" Snape realized what he was saying. "Both killed by Death Eaters." Cassandra's parents had been killed by Death Eaters. The event had occurred just a year or two after the Potters' deaths and was severely overshadowed by that headline, but Snape now recalled it clearly.

"Well done, Severus. I'm impressed. Yes, Edward did marry Danielle Lucas and yes, they were killed by Bellatrix and Rodolphus Lestrange, before they were sent to Azkaban. The Renners left behind a girl who was three years old at the time of the murders. Cassandra Elizabeth. She was sent to live with her closest relative - a third cousin once removed, or something like that. I never could keep relations straight. This man, a 42-year-old Muggle named Nathaniel Waters, was not pleased to find that the care of a three-year-old child was left to him, and even less so when he learned that she possessed the ability to perform magic." Dumbledore looked at Snape. "I have no proof to support my assumptions, but it is my belief that Waters has been abusing that child since she came into his care, trying to scare her out of using magic."

As sad as it was, this was not an unusual occurrence among Muggle-borns. Even so, Snape found it difficult to believe that someone could be so lacking in character that they would continually abuse a child such as Cassandra. Her guardian must be a lovely fellow. Snape had never been known for his compassionate heart, but even he could see that Cassandra was hard-working and resourceful, kind and patient. What kind of a man did it take to mistreat someone so clearly innocent and never change? Suddenly Snape swallowed. Hadn't he once done just that, though? Lily was his best friend, in some ways his ward while she was away from the comfort of her Muggle world, and he had never listened to her admonitions about his friends or his behavior. In fact, he had responded by calling her slurs and never reconciling himself to her. Was he truly any better than Waters, this guardian who clearly held no respect for the person under his care? The equality between himself and Waters strengthened Snape's desire to assist Cassandra in whatever she needed. It also sparked some amount of righteous anger in him, a feeling he hadn't experienced in a good while.

Dumbledore stood silently, watching the range of emotions on Snape's face as they flitted from one to the next. "I believe that if Waters is in any way abusing Cassandra, she has the right to know how to defend herself, would you agree?"

Snape looked up. "No one should have to go endure that without any means of defense. Of course." He straightened. "I take it that I have your permission, then, to teach her?"

"Yes. And Severus," Dumbledore said, "should she ask for any other kind of assisstance in her situation, grant it to her. Help will always be given at Hogwarts to those who ask for it." Snape inclined his head. He headed towards the door. His hand touched the doorknob, but before he could turn it, he heard, "One last thing." He turned.

Dumbledore gave Snape a small, understanding smile. "I know you're angry at Waters, but do try to restrain yourself. Don't teach the girl any Unforgivable Curses or anything of that sort." Snape looked momentarily disappointed before saying, "Of course, Headmaster." Snape left the room and headed back to his own chambers, but Cassandra's dilemma and his own thoughts didn't leave him alone until very early the next morning.


	7. Detention in the Dungeons

Cassi stood just outside Snape's office, staring at the closed door. Here it was. The moment she'd been dreading since her last talk with the Potions master. She took a deep breath to try and calm her nerves. When that didn't help any, she swallowed and knocked softly on the door. It instantly swung open. Cassi wondered if Snape had been standing on the other side listening to her panic, but there was no one standing there. She took a small step into the room, puzzled at the door's behavior, when it swung shut of its own accord. Then Cassi saw Professor Snape sitting at his desk. _He must have used a non-verbal spell,_ she thought. As if in agreement, a chair suddenly scooted itself from across the office to stop facing the desk. Snape didn't look up from whatever he was writing. She seated herself nervously and wondered if she should say something.

"Miss Renner." The sudden sound made Cassi jump, and she struggled to regain her voice. When she found it, she said quietly, "Yes, Professor?"

Still writing, Snape said, "It will not be necessary for you to explain yourself to me. Professor Dumbledore has ample faith in you." Cassi wilted with relief. She had dreaded the thought of showing Snape her vulnerable side. But he had said Dumbledore had faith in her - did he know? How _could_ he know? Snape finally stopped writing, looked up, and stared straight into her eyes. His gaze held something she'd never believed him capable of - was it pity? Compassion? She wanted to shiver but couldn't move. "However, Miss Renner, I will be able to help you more efficiently if I have all the details of your...situation. Dumbledore can only guess as to the severity of your conditions, and some details from you will ensure that the supplemental education you receive is of the kind you most need." She couldn't think. _He wants to know how bad it is? I couldn't..._ Snape just sat there staring at her with his dark eyes. Unable to mantain the contact, Cassi looked down at her shoes. Dozens of thoughts were racing through her head; she waited a moment until she had calmed a little, then began in a soft voice.

"I don't know if you knew my parents, Professor, but they came here to Hogwarts a long time ago. They're dead now. They were killed by the Lestranges when I was little. Neither of my parents had any siblings and their parents died before I was born, so I was sent to live with one of my Muggle relatives whom I'd never seen before. He...wasn't happy that he had to take care of me, and he hated that I could use magic. He...he tried to make me stop." Her voice grew very small, and Snape could imagine a young Cassandra trying desperately to contain magic when she genuinely couldn't. He felt himself getting angrier and angrier as her story progressed. "He didn't understand...he thought I was just trying to make him mad. It got me in trouble a lot. I tried, I tried so hard to keep it all inside me, but when he was drunk and mad and he scared me, it would all come spilling out. And then I got in even more trouble." Reminded of her desperation, Cassi looked back up into Snape's eyes, silently pleading with him to understand.

For a silent moment their eyes met, the light ones desperate and the dark ones piercing. Suddenly Snape stood up and began pacing. "You realize, Miss Renner, that unless your relative possesses magical capabilities many Defense Against the Dark Arts techniques will be useless against him. Much of the Dark Arts anticipated in our classes are directed toward dueling dark wizards." He stopped and turned to look at her. "What exactly are you hoping to gain from these lessons?"

Cassi didn't know. _Something. Anything._ Even if all it did was intimidate Waters, she would take it. Unsure of what to say, she looked down at her hands, which she held in her lap, and bit her lip.

Suddenly she looked up in surprise. Snape had swiftly crossed the room and knelt in front of her to hold her hand with both his. "Miss Renner, I truly do understand your situation. I was in a similar situation myself when I was your age. My father was a Muggle who viewed me as a freak of nature and an object to be hated. His rage was limitless and illogical. My mother tried to shield me from him, but that rarely resulted in success." Cassi stared at him, trying to imagine the overbearing professor as a child cowering in fear. She began to understand why she found it more difficult than others to hate this man.

Snape, seeing that he had succeeded in comforting the girl a bit, straightened and resumed his pacing, this time more slowly and thoughtfully. "I think that, given the circumstances, the most useful thing for you to learn right now is the Patronus Charm. A Patronus is a memory, given form. If done correctly, it will take the shape of an animal unique to the person who cast it. There is another form a Patronus can take, one that speaks, but that is much more advanced than you are prepared for. The Patronus acts as a shield against many spells and curses and is particularly useful for defending against Dementors. A Patronus can only be conjured if the caster can focus on the happiest memory he has, and only the happiest memory will work. You do owe me a detention," Snape suddenly mentioned, "but I believe given the circumstances we will focus on attempting this charm rather than serving detention - just this time. The words used to cast the shielding spell are _Expecto Patronum_. This is a very difficult spell. Do not expect to succeed this time, but go on and try it."

Cassi licked her lips as she stood up nervously. The happiest memory she had... When she learned she was going to Hogwarts? When she realized she would be escaping from Waters for the whole year? When she was standing on Platform 9 3/4 for the first time? No, she realized suddenly. She smiled. It was the split second right after the Sorting Hat yelled, "GRYFFINDOR!" The expressions on Fred and George's faces. The cheers. The happiest moment of her life. Without thinking about it she said calmly, "Expecto Patronum!"

As she pronounced the spell, the tip of her wand began to glow silver. The glow grew stronger and a mist began to swirl. Suddenly a stream of light exploded from her wand, forming into a beautiful, sleek silver panther. The Patronus padded around the office once, then came up to a dumbfounded Cassi. It stood for a moment staring at her, then nudged her hand with its nose. Or rather, tried to. Cassi gasped as she passed right through the corporeal panther and was suddenly filled with thoughts of sunshine and dancing and music and snow and all the things she loved. Then the panther disappeared, leaving the room feeling empty and dark.

Slowly Cassi looked up at Snape, who was looking at her. To her bewilderment, he didn't seem surprised. He looked...satisfied. "Your father's daughter," he said softly.

She stared. Had Snape known her father? In answer to her unasked question, he said, "Yes, I knew your father. Edward Renner. Four years behind me in school. Very smart, very popular. Good at everything he did, with a particular affinity for Defense Against the Dark Arts. Which is undoubtedly why your Patronus charm went so well. Your father's Patronus, as I recall, was a jaguar - very similar to yours. ...He was a good man." Cassi looked down at the floor to try and hide the emotions she knew were showing through her traitorous eyes. Waters never talked about her father, except to curse him for leaving her behind. She suddenly looked back up at Snape. "Did you know my mother, too?"

Snape sat back down behind his desk. "Yes, I knew her, too, though not so well. Danielle Lucas. Very pretty girl, always so thoughtful of others. Loved being outside more than anything else in the world, rain or shine." He gave a small smile, then looked into Cassi's eyes. "You look very much like her," he said gently. Cassi could feel tears threatening to spill over. _I will not cry in front of Snape,_ she told herself fiercely. _I will not cry..._

Seeing how off-topic they were getting and how deeply the subject affected Cassi, Snape stood up suddenly and said, "No more today, Miss Renner. I believe the successful creation of a corporeal Patronus is plenty for one day." Cassi stood up and walked to the door. Her hand resting on the handle, she paused and said quietly, "Thank you, Professor. Good night." Then she went to her dorm room, collapsed on her bed, and let her tears fall for the parents she'd never known.


	8. Spectre from the Past

Snape sat at his desk, staring at the wall in the lamplight. Miss Renner's lesson was still on his mind. Well, Miss Renner in general was. Snape was unsure of how anyone could hate that child. She was kind and compassionate, but also determined and unyielding...much the way Lily had been...for what felt like the millionth time since the beginning of the school year, Snape had to close his eyes to ward off the wave of pain that crashed into him when he thought of Lily. _If I'm ever so undeservedly fortunate as to find someone like Lily again,_ he thought determinedly, _I will not make the same mistakes. Not for the world. I swear on Lily's memory._

 _But I have found someone like Lily,_ he thought suddenly. _Miss Renner. Cassandra. She's very much like Lily._ The unexpected thought caught him off guard. Since when had he started comparing his student to the woman he loved? The woman who had left him, a very long time ago, with a gaping void that nothing thus far had managed to fill. Would it ever be filled? Today in the dungeon, experiencing the magic that Cassandra had produced, had felt so much like the times he had once spent with Lily. Could anything about Cassandra be a substitute for what he had lost?

"Severus..."

Snape shot to his feet so fast his chair almost toppled. All thoughts of Cassandra were gone. Had he imagined that voice? Because as surely as he knew his own name, he knew that voice belonged to Lily Evans. Was he losing his mind? He waited a moment, and when nothing happened, he hesitantly dismissed the sound as the product of an overworked mind. Then it came again.

"Severus, please don't ignore me."

He whirled around towards the spot he thought the voice must be coming from, eyes frantic, looking for whatever was playing this cruel joke on him. He froze.

There, in the corner of Snape's office, stood the spirit of Lily Potter, smiling at him.

Trembling, Snape fell to his knees. His dark eyes were instantly welling with tears that he couldn't stop. The silver image of the woman he loved came a few steps closer with a small, sad laugh. "Severus, is my loss still so fresh for you?"

"Ten years..." he croaked, disregarding the tears cascading down his cheeks. "You had to have known, Lily, how hard it was. Why didn't you come sooner? I've needed you so many times..."

Her expression became regretful. "I'm sorry, Severus. I couldn't. My spirit isn't free, I could only pick one person to attach to after that night. I had to stay with my son, and until he came to Hogwarts, I couldn't see anyone at Hogwarts. But now that he's here, I'm close enough to see you." She smiled again.

Snape was still shaking. "Lily...Lily, I'm so sorry...I messed up so badly...I never wanted for you to be mad at me. I loved you too much, and I couldn't see what I was doing. I'm so sorry..."

"Severus, all is forgiven. It always was, you know. I was never so mad at you that I couldn't forgive you." Snape looked down at the ground, knowing he didn't deserve to be forgiven for what he'd done. "How can I repay you? How can I make amends? Say anything, I'll do it. What can I do?"

Lily looked compassionately at him, then came closer. She slowly knelt down on the floor facing Snape. He looked up at her with tears in his eyes. She leaned forward and whispered, "To prove your love for me...to make amends...move on, Severus. Find another love." His look became incredulous. "Of all the things you could ask me to do," he said shakily, "you pick the one which I cannot. How can you want this?"

"Because your love does me no good, and it does you no good. I have a husband and a son, and they are my responsibility. I cannot return your love. And you...you can't live like this forever. Honestly I'm amazed you made it these ten years."

"Live like what?"

"Alone, Severus." Lily had tears in her eyes too now. "You're so secluded from the world. You hardly talk to the other teachers, you interact as little as possible with the students, and Dumbledore is the only one you trust. You need to live more."

Snape was astonished. "How do you know all that about me?" he said.

Lily smiled. "I've been at Hogwarts since the beginning of the year. This isn't the first time I've seen you." She stood up. "I have to go, Severus. I've been away from Harry too long." She began to move towards the wall.

"Wait!" cried Snape. She paused and looked at him. He looked back at her desperately. "How do I move on?" he whispered. "I don't know how."

"I'll help you," she said softly. "After all, help will always be given at Hogwarts to those who ask for it." She smiled. "For now, continue with the girl's - Cassandra? - with Cassandra's lessons. They will be good for both of you. They will teach both of you to open up, and who knows? You might even find you like her." She backed away slowly, and when she reached the wall, she said, "Goodnight, Severus." Then she disappeared.

Snape stayed kneeling on the floor for a while longer, then realized where he was and took himself off to his room. It wasn't until later, after his thoughts had calmed some, that he remembered his words from earlier. "Kind and compassionate, determined and unyielding...Very much like Lily..." and "If I ever meet someone like Lily again, I won't make the same mistakes." Then Lily's words came back to him - "Who knows? You might even find you like her." Snape thought that he might indeed find that he liked Cassandra, although maybe not the same way Lily was thinking.


	9. Fourth Year

Now we jump forward three years to Cassandra's fourth year (Goblet of Fire). We resume the narrative during the summer just before the school year starts (about when the Quidditch World Cup is happening.)

* * *

"Girl! What are you doing?!"

Cassi winced, then looked over her shoulder. "I'm...I'm studying, sir. For school." She was sitting on the grass outside with her textbooks lying haphazardly scattered around her. Her guardian, Nathaniel Waters, was storming towards her, the back door still swinging from being slammed so hard. He didn't look happy - but then, he rarely did. It was 4:30 in the afternoon, but it already looked like he had been hitting the bottle pretty hard. It wouldn't take any provocation on her part to elicit a heavy-handed response from him.

"What do ya think ya got a room for?" he bellowed. "In the house. Now! I won't have the neighbors knowing about yer cursed abnormality. Get on!" Cassi scrambled to gather all her books before he could reach any of them, but one of them lay just out of her reach. She lunged for it just as he was reaching down to snatch it away, and a brief battle for possession, the sound of ripping pages filled the air. Her heart sank. The Weasleys had sent her the books from the Burrow and Harry had paid for them, since she didn't have any wizard money. Waters looked elated.

"Oh, someone's gonna be in trouble when they get back to school," he sneered, "can't even take care of her own d- books. You'll probably fail out of all yer classes now and become a hooker to earn yer keep. Probably wouldn't even be good at that. Stupid girl can't do anything right!"

He cackled at himself and left her to hastily gather her things and retreat to her room before she offended him further. She would have to try and repair the damage without magic, since she was still underage. _Don't the people at the Ministry realize that fourteen-year-olds need magic sometimes, too?_ she thought miserably. Many times a day she wished she could use magic outside Hogwarts, because in her world, a ripped book was a very slight misdemeanor. There were days when Waters wouldn't let Cassi out of her room (which, by the way, was the miniscule attic) and other days when he wouldn't feed her. She took the role of house-elf, almost, and if something wasn't done to Waters' standards, she would wake up the next morning covered in new bruises and scars in addition to the plethora of old ones. Whenever he got the chance he would lock her out of the house at night, and she would be forced to beg the neighbors for a place to stay. Most of the time they wouldn't listen to her, because Waters had guns and knew how to use them to his advantage. He had "convinced" the neighborhood that his problems were his own, and that anyone who tried to stick his nose where it didn't belong would soon find it detached from his face. That's also the reason that Cassi was stuck with him until she turned 18 and legally became a Muggle adult. She couldn't wait for that day.

She made it up to the attic without further incident. As she carefully laid her books down on the little side table she used as a desk, she wondered why she had never gone to anyone else for help before. _Maybe I just didn't feel I had anyone before,_ she thought. _The Muggle authorities can only do so much to protect me against Waters, but for a long time that was my only option. Maybe now that I have a whole different world I can live in...maybe I can get away._ The thought was both foreign and invigorating.

 _Surely there's someone I can tell,_ she thought, _someone who can do something. I would tell the twins, I know they'd help, but they're not allowed to use magic either. Although they would._ Cassi smiled as she thought of Fred and George, who had begged their mother to let them break Cassi out (though they just thought she had a boring, strict guardian who never let her have fun) and bring her to the Burrow that summer. But after the whole Harry fiasco, Mrs. Weasley would barely let the twins out of the house. Cassi had laughed it off and reassured them that she'd be fine, but secretly she was devastated. She had almost escaped a whole summer of Waters. Oh well. It wouldn't kill her. Probably.

 _So, no students,_ she thought. _None of them can help me, at least none of the ones I know. That leaves the teachers. Who would help me? I doubt Dumbledore would, he has to set an example for all the students. I don't think Professor McGonagall would either, since she's House Head and doesn't believe in breaking rules.  
_

 _Wait a minute. What about Snape?_ She paused, considering the possibility. _I bet he could help me. He could help. He could make Waters leave me alone. And next summer, I'll just go home with the Weasleys. Or Hermione. Or someone. At this point, I'd go to the Malfoys if they'd have me. Anything is better than this place._

Snape had continued her DADA lessons over the past three years, although not very frequently. They had met once a month at the most during her first and second years, and even less than that last year. But those meetings were sufficient for her to perfect her Patronus, which she could now cast without a second thought, and a few other techniques which she couldn't really use. At least her Patronus made her feel better when she was trying to fall asleep. Despite Snape's relative aloofness, Cassi would bet money that he would at least be able to give her guidance as to what she should do about the situation. He wasn't above bending the rules, but he was also intelligent and subtle. And all it would require was the courage to open up to him and tell him what was truly going on.

"That's what I'll do, then," she said confidently to the empty room. "When I get back to Hogwarts, I'll ask Professor Snape to help me. He'll know what to do."

 _I hope..._


	10. Return

Not nearly soon enough, the first day of school finally came. As she had done every year, she met the Weasley family outside Platform 9 3/4. She ran through the barrier just after Harry, Ron, and Hermione, and heard all the cryptic hints from the three oldest boys and Mrs. Weasley about something special that was going to happen at Hogwarts this year. She joined Fred and George in their compartment (well, really she was sort of kidnapped, but she didn't mind) and spent the first whole hour of the journey just enjoying the fact that she was finally free again.

She was happy that her school robes covered her arms and legs completely, because they hid the scars and bruises she often had after living with Waters. That was certainly true this year. She couldn't wear her robes at King's Cross, though, so she had worn long jeans and a sweatshirt to Platform 9 3/4, despite the rather warm temperatures. This was nothing out of the ordinary for her, but this year the twins noticed something different. When she absent-mindedly pulled her sleeves up a few inches for relief from the heat, George noticed a few very dark bruises on her arm. He silently directed Fred's eyes to the area, and he immediately noticed it too. Then, almost simultaneously, they spotted a scar on her neck that hadn't been there before. It started just below her right ear and curved down to the front of her collarbone. Communicating via whatever twin telepathy they had, at the next lull in the conversation Fred casually asked, "Hey, Whisper, what's that mark on your neck?"

They watched as Cassi's blue eyes grew bigger, then darted down to her arms. She jerked her sleeves back down before looking up and touching her neck. "Oh, that?" she laughed nervously. "That's from my - from a tree on the lawn. At home. We have a tree with low-hanging branches and one sort of snapped me in the neck. That's all. Hardly even hurt." She smiled painfully and looked down at her lap, toying with the ends of her sleeves.

Fred and George glanced at each other. Then George said gently, "That doesn't look like a wound inflicted by a plant. We've gotten hit by the Whomping Willow loads of times, and even when it scars it doesn't look like that." Fred added, "Did the big bad tree give you the bruises on your arms, too?"

Cassi looked like a cornered animal. At her frightened expression, Fred asked, "Do you want to tell us something?" George growled, "It wasn't from Malfoy, was it? That pansy-faced, sniveling-"

Cassi gave a halfhearted laugh. "No, it's not from Malfoy. He's too scared of what I might do to him to try anything." The twins laughed too. "And with good reason," said George. "Was he there that time you hexed Goyle?" asked Fred. "That would've been enough to make him cry. Admittedly it wouldn't take much, but even Georgie here was scared for his life after that little incident." George punched Fred in the arm, and Cassi couldn't help but laugh. She sobered down, though, when they both turned to look at her expectantly. She knew what they wanted. She sighed.

"Guys...I can't tell you everything," she started. "I want to, but I can't, so just accept that now." They nodded in understanding. She continued. "My parents are dead, and I live with a Muggle named Waters who is supposedly related to me, but he hates me with his soul. He's never let me forget that because I have magic, I'm a freak who shouldn't be allowed to live." Here Fred interrupted with more vehemence than was necessary. "He's been beating you?!" he growled. George said in the exact same tone, "Why didn't you tell us before? We could have taken care of him long ago." Anger was evident on both of their faces, and Cassi sighed. "That's exactly why I didn't tell you!" Both expressions became surprised as they waited for an explanation.

"You're not allowed to do magic outside of Hogwarts any more than I am," she said, "but you would have tried to keep me from having to go back to him. Or you would have tried to get me out. Either way you would have gotten in trouble with the Ministry, and I would still be stuck with Waters." They looked at her with dumbfounded expressions. She looked back. "Well, that's what would have happened, right?" They nodded mutely. Cassi smiled. "So don't be mad at me for not telling you. I saved us all a lot of trouble - especially you two, since you would have had to answer to your mother, too."

Fred and George were silent for a moment. Then Fred said quietly, "We would've done it, if it could have gotten you out." George added, "Although we probably couldn't have, if you put it like that. But we've got a few tricks up our sleeves that some old Muggle wouldn't know what to do with." Cassi laughed at the mischevious expressions on their faces.

The expressions died away though, and soon George said, "If you need help, we won't hesitate to bust you out. Mum would be mad at first, but once she knows-"

"Don't tell her!" Cassi panicked. She had only just mustered the courage to tell her best friends - she wasn't ready for this to spread. She saw that she had taken the twins aback, so she said more quietly, "Please. I promise you I'm not letting things keep going like this anymore. I'm getting help, honest. Thank you for offering, but I don't want you to get in trouble because of me." She paused, then smiled. "However, I would appreciate it if you would talk to your mum about me staying with you next summe-"

She didn't get a chance to finish her sentence, because she was suddenly crushed by two bear hugs. "We'll do it!" they cried together. Laughing, Cassi tried to push them off her. "Alright, _alright_ , you lot, get off," she said jokingly.

After that, Fred and George returned to their normal teasing selves, apparently satisfied with the outcome of the conversation. Cassi soon left to change into her robes. Once she was done, she glanced in the mirror. They didn't hide the new scar on her neck, but at least nothing else showed. Maybe, just maybe, she could make it through another year without her private life coming to the light for everyone in the school to see. Wouldn't that be a miracle.


	11. Welcome Home

The Sorting of the first years went smoothly, like it did every year. The Hat sang a new song about the four Houses; Cassi loved to listen each version of the story. The feast was wonderful, as always, and when it was over, Fred and George walked her and Hermione back to their dorm, just as they used to. It was wonderful to be back, to have some stability to her life again. Hogwarts was home.

The first day of classes went well, although Cassi was seated next to Seamus again in Potions. He managed to keep his potion from exploding this time - it merely filled the room with a putrid green mist. Everyone was quite proud of him.

The bell rang for the end of Potions. Cassi began to pack up her supplies when she heard, "Miss Renner, would you stay for a minute." Cassi glanced up warily. Professor Snape was sitting at his desk writing something. She looked over at Hermione, then at Harry and Ron. All three of them looked concerned. Hermione was closest, and she whispered, "You can't be in trouble, we only just got here and your potion came out beautifully."

"Miss Granger, I did not ask you to analyze the situation." Hermione blushed furiously and quickly grabbed her bag and left. Ron shot a venomous glare at Snape, who thankfully wasn't looking, and followed Hermione. Harry was the last to leave. He looked at Cassi, mouthed _I'll cover for you,_ and left too.

Cassi finished putting her cauldron away, stood, and slowly walked to stand in front of Snape's desk. "Yes, Professor," she said quietly, not wanting to distract him from his writing but needing to get to her next class. Then again, it was just Divination - she didn't need a full period of listening to Professor Trelawney predict Harry's gruesome demise.

Snape finally looked up. "I merely wished to inquire into your summer, Miss Renner," he said. As he looked at her, seeing her up close for the first time in nearly four months, he noticed she had grown. She was a few inches taller, and she had grown into her features. She didn't look like a child anymore and he wondered if she was beginning to earn any respect from her guardian. He refocused on the conversation. "How was it this time?"

Cassi looked at Snape up close for the first time in nearly four months, and thought that he looked tired. He did his best to hide it, but his eyes looked...exhausted. She wondered how often other people took the time to care about how Snape was doing. _He needs someone to look after him,_ she thought. _Someone to take care of him, and keep him...well, alive._ She realized he had asked a question. How to answer it?

"This summer...was fine, sir." It was a lie. This summer had been much worse. She had more scars and fewer bruises to show for it, and the memories made Cassi want to do nothing more than to clam up and shut him out. "It was fine," she said with a little more force. She couldn't ask for his help. Not right now. She didn't have the strength to deal with this entire can of worms right now; her emotions were still a little too raw. She would ask some other time.

Snape searched her eyes for a few moments, then nodded. "I'm glad to hear it. If you are still interested in your Defense lessons, I would like to meet here this Saturday at 8."

"Yes, sir. Thank you." Cassi was relieved that Professor Snape was still willing to help her. Especially if she was planning to live in the wizarding world next summer with the Weasleys. She could use all the DADA she could get. Snape bent his head and picked up his quill. Seeing that the conversation was over, she made her way to the door.

"Miss Renner?" Cassi's hand paused on the doorknob. She turned. "Yes, sir?"

A tiny smile peeked through Snape's stern expression. "Welcome back," he said quietly. Cassi returned the smile. "Thank you, sir. It's good to be home." She left the room and closed the door softly behind her.

* * *

To her surprise, Fred and George were waiting for her outside the classroom. "What are you doing here?" she exclaimed. "You're late for your class!"

"Easy, easy," said George. "We were just making sure Snape wasn't picking on you," said Fred. "After all, we couldn't let you get ahead of us. It's only the first day, even we haven't gotten in trouble yet. That'd be embarassing, to be beat by a girl." Both twins shook their heads mournfully. "We'd have to go into exile."

Cassi had to laugh. "No, he wasn't picking on me. But how'd you know I was still in there?" She playfully gave them a wary glance. "You're not stalking me, are you?"

Both twins immediately assumed a sinister grin. "Maybe, maybe not, shan't tell," they taunted. Cassi laughed again before asking, "But really, how did you know?"

"We noticed you weren't with the other three, so Harry told us," Fred explained. George added, "Hermione didn't look like she wanted to be questioned, and Ron was in a right foul mood, so Harry told us and asked us to wait for you." "Which we would have done anyway," interjected Fred. "Right," resumed George, "because this year, now that we know what your summers are like, we're not letting you out of our sight."

Cassi just stood there for a minute, staring at them and trying to process what they were saying. "But...you don't have to, guys, I'll be fine-"

"Don't even try that," snorted Fred. "We're keeping an eye on you. Period." Cassi's face grew teasing. "I guess I'll just have to make your job as hard as possible," she said, only half joking. "Bring it on," Fred and George said simultaneously. She began counting on her fingers. "I'll get a detention in every class and play near the Whomping Willow and try out for Quidditch and..."

"Dare you to actually try out for Quidditch," said George. Cassi mentally slapped herself. The twins had been trying to get her to try out for Quidditch ever since her first year, but she never had. They had been there for the single time she was on a broom, just after Harry had been hauled away to see Oliver Wood in first year, and they claimed she was as good on a broom as Wood. She was very near their own magnificent skill level, and she was "depriving her own House" by not playing. She just laughed at them. Now, though, it looked like she would have to actually try out. "I will, watch me," she shot right back, hoping to mantain a little dignity. The twins looked at each other, then turned back to her grinning. Then they all burst out laughing.

"Go on and get to class before I dig this hole any deeper," Cassi giggled at them. Fred and George instantly froze and stared at her. She looked at them with half a smile on her face. "What? Did I just grow wings or something?"

Fred slowly turned to George and said, "Mate, there's something wrong with her." "She must not be feeling good," George agreed. They both turned back to her. Then, together, they said disbelievingly, "You just _giggled_."

She laughed and ran off towards Divination, leaving them staring after her. Giggling had never been her style; her amusement manifested as more of a contagious chuckle, but she couldn't help it this time. She couldn't explain her elation. She was just so happy to be home.


	12. Quidditch Tryouts

Since Quidditch had been canceled this year for the Triwizard Tournament, poor Oliver Wood spent most of his spare time on the Quidditch pitch, just him and his broom. His social life was suffering severely because he couldn't tear himself away from the field. At first people were sympathetic and would come out and practice with him, but after a while they got bored and stopped coming. So when Fred and George dragged Cassi to the pitch, Wood was ecstatic to have company.

"If it isn't my two favorite Beaters!" he called while they were still almost too far away to hear. "And my favorite fan!" he added as they got closer. Cassi blushed. She had made it a point to come to all of Fred, George, and Harry's games, and she, Hermione, and Ron together made the loudest three people at Hogwarts.

"Oy, Wood, this young lady's got a hankering to try out for the team. I know we don't exactly have a team this year, but let 'er fly for you, mate. You weren't there the first time she touched a broom, but we were, and I can't believe McGonagall didn't bring her with Harry when she hauled you out of class." Wood's eyes lit up as he stared at Cassi. "So you can fly, hmm?" he asked. She blushed again. _Am I going to spend all day blushing?_ she wondered. "I enjoy flying. I wouldn't say I'm good, but Fred an-"

"She doesn't know what she's saying, mate," George interrupted dismissively. Fred added, "Besides, she hasn't exactly seen herself fly. She's got natural talent with a broom, that one." Wood held up his hands. "Alright, alright, let me see what you've got," he said, handing Cassi his broom. She took it.

Fred and George looked at each other, knowing this was the moment of truth. If she was going to bail out, now was her last chance. They watched as she walked toward the middle of the field and mounted the broom. She turned to look at them, shot the twins a triumphant smile, and launched herself into the air.

For it being the second time she'd touched a magical broom in her life, she flew amazingly. She didn't know that, though. All she could feel was the wind through her hair, the way the broom responded to every move she made. She darted around the goalposts, soared above the stands, then angled herself towards the ground lying flat against the broomstick. She pulled up after a few seconds and launched herself into a tight spiral, spinning higher and higher. She had forgotten all about the fact that people were waching. She was just following her instincts and loving the feeling of being so free.

Eventually she remembered where she was and what she was doing and began a shallow descent that landed her right in front of the twins. She hovered in a few feet off the ground and smirked. "Told you I'd do it. Now how do I get off this thing."

She managed to dismount without breaking anything, then held the broom out to Wood. He ignored it. "How many times did you say you've ridden a broom?" he asked, staring at her intently. "Um...that was my second time," she replied, not sure why he was looking at her like that. _Either I was incredible or I just ruined the sport for all time._ Still standing there awkwardly holding the broom, she said slowly, "So...was I any good?"

"Any good?!" Wood yelled. "ANY GOOD?! You were wonderful! Yeah, there were some shaky parts, but once you got comfortable, is there anything you can't do?" Cassi immediately blushed furiously. Fred and George just stood there with their arms crossed and smug expressions that said I-told-you-so. Cassi stuck her tongue out at them before turning back to Wood, who was still babbling on about her performance.

"You'd be great anywhere! But you're so in tune with the broom, I'd have to make you Seeker. Depriving myself of a great Keeper, Beater, and Chaser, but you can't have them all. I think, with a little practice, you could be the best Seeker Gryffindor has ever had!"

"Wait. No," said Cassi. "Harry's the Gryffindor Seeker. Right?" She looked to the twins for confirmation. "We've already got a wonderful Seeker." Wood said distractedly, "Yes, yes, Harry's good, but he's always getting detention and missing practice. Besides, the Slytherins all hate him, and if he were to get in a fight and be seriously injured right before a game, we'd be without a Seeker. You don't have any of those problems. You'd be better for the team, especially since you have such great chemistry already with the Beaters." Fred and George smiled. Cassi wiped the smiles off their faces, though, when she said firmly, "I won't kick Harry off the team. I couldn't do that to him. Tell you what, I'll play as a reserve. If Harry doesn't show up or gets hurt, I'll play for him so we don't have to forfeit. But that's all."

The twins began a long and incoherent argument, but Cassi was firm. "I can't kick Harry off the team." Finally they gave up. They took their leave of Wood, and as they walked back to the castle, Harry passed them on his way to see Wood. He greeted them, but Cassi was the only one to respond. He looked curiously at them but kept walking - or tried to. Fred and George suddenly each grabbed one of his arms and forced him back up against a tree. Harry looked from one to the other in surprise. "Um, guys? What's going on?"

"All I have to say is, you'd better be heading out there to practice your flying, because if you're not absolutely stunning next year, we will hurt you. And I mean hurt you." "As in, you'll never be allowed to fly a broomstick any higher than two feet off the ground again." Harry looked at Cassi stunned, who was trying not to laugh. She shook her head at him, and Harry glanced back at the twins. "Yeah, I am, ok, don't worry," he said with his hands in the air. George slowly backed off, and in a moment Fred followed suit. They turned their backs to him and escorted Cassi back inside. She couldn't help herself. All of a sudden a huge laugh burst out of her, startling the twins. Soon, though, they were laughing too.

Unbeknownst to them, there was someone watching. A tall, pale, blond figure was observing them from the Astronomy Tower. He had seen the tryouts and seen Cassi fly, and knew Gryffindor was making a mistake not putting her anywhere. But that was ok with him. He smiled. Quidditch wasn't what he thought of when he saw her. His mind was more pleasantly engaged. When the Yule Ball came around this winter, Cassi Renner, the talk of every House and the catch of the century, would be going with Draco Malfoy. He would make sure of it.


	13. Saturday at 8

Saturday rolled around. Cassi woke up feeling only slightly less tired than when she had fallen asleep a few short hours ago. Her neck was stiff, but fortunately after a few minutes it loosened up. Cassi stumbled into the bathroom and was happy to see that at least her hair wasn't going wild, even after her rough night's sleep. _No Medusa head today,_ she thought to herself. Even so, it took a good ten minutes just to brush through her thick hair. Hermione was awake and ready by then, and she sat on her bed watching Cassi get ready. "Your hair is so pretty," she sighed jealously. Cassi looked over in surprise. "But so is yours, Hermione."

Hermione laughed. "This rat's nest? Hardly! My hair never combs out as smoothly as yours. And I certainly don't get talked about because of my hair...at least not positively." Her voice died away for a moment, then she added hesitantly, "You know that every boy in the school wants you to go to the Yule Ball with him." Now it was Cassi's turn to laugh. "You made that up, I know you did. There's no way you asked every boy in the school if they wanted to ask me to the dance." Hermione smiled a little. "No, I didn't, but I didn't have to. I can tell by the way everyone looks up when you walk into a room. And how all the boys go out of their way to help you. They all like you." Hermione stood up and came to the doorframe. Their third roommate wasn't around, but her voice still dropped to a confidential whisper. "I wouldn't be surprised if even some of the teachers will ask you to dance. They can't take you as a date obviously but...I wonder if some of them wish they could."

Cassi dropped her hairbrush in disbelief. "A professor?" she asked incredulously. "You think a professor wants to take me to the Ball?" Hermione glanced around nervously. The room was still empty, but she moved closer anyway. "If this turns out to be wrong, you didn't hear it from me, right?" Cassi was still in suspense. "Ok, ok, but who?" Hermione looked right into Cassi's eyes as she stated quietly, "I think Professor Snape likes you."

Hermione watched as Cassi's jaw dropped and her eyes widened. She looked amazed, but not appalled as Hermione had feared. "Why do you think so?" Cassi asked. "Well," started Hermione, "because he doesn't treat you the same way he treats the other students. Or at least the other Gryffindors. He always wants to talk to you, asking you to stay after class or meet him on the weekends. And when he looks at you, his eyes aren't all hard and distant like usual. He looks...thoughtful, I suppose, when he looks at you. Like he's trying to decide what you're feeling. And sometimes," she said slowly, "I've seen him watching you during meals. He'll forget what he's doing and just watch you with that thoughtful expression. Of course I can't be sure it's _you_ he's looking at, but too many other things add up."

Cassi hadn't had enough sleep to be able to emotionally cope with what she was hearing, so she did the next best thing. She laughed it off. "Well, professors can't bring dates to the Ball, so I guess he's out of luck." Hermione smiled, but her eyes looked worried. "I suppose so," she agreed. The room was silent for a moment, then Cassi said abruptly, "Let's go get breakfast. I'm hungry." The girls met the three Weasleys and Harry in the common room and they went to the Great Hall together.

That evening, Cassi was sitting in the common room by herself, reading by the fire. She had only been there ten minutes before she couldn't concentrate on the words anymore. Her head ached and she was tired. She closed her eyes. Everyone else was in Hogsmeade today. She hadn't even approached Waters about the form; he probably would have torn it up and thrown the pieces in her face. The only other students still in the school were the younger kids, Neville Longbottom, and Draco Malfoy. Neville had stayed to do some more studying for Herbology, and Draco didn't expound on why he had chosen to stay. Cassi didn't really care. She just wanted to go to bed.

All too soon, it was time to meet Professor Snape in the Potions classroom. Hermione's words from earlier still bouncing around in the back of her head, she walked through half the castle to get to the dungeons. Finally she reached the classroom, rapped four times, then went in. Snape was reading something at his desk. Her chair was sitting in its normal spot in front of the desk, and she walked over and sat in it without waiting for an invitation. Snape looked up at this unusual sign of impatience, but didn't comment. Soon he said, "If you are ready to begin, Miss Renner, I think you are ready to learn to cast that more difficult form of Patronus which I've mentioned several times."

For half an hour Cassi stood in the center of the office and did everything she could to try and get her silver panther to talk, but as she got more and more frustrated, her Patronus got weaker and weaker. Finally, her happy memory failed her altogether and her panther wouldn't show so much as a whisker. This, on top of her entire day, pushed her over her emotional limit. She dropped her wand, fell to her knees and covered her face in her hands.

"I...can't...do it!" she cried between sobs as the tears she had been holding back would not be repressed anymore. She hadn't let herself cry in a very long time - not a real, full-blown breakdown, anyway. She was mad at herself for not being able to cast her Patronus. She was mad at Waters for not signing her Hogsmeade permission form. She was mad at Hermione for suggesting things about Professor Snape that Cassi had been thinking about all day. She was mad at Snape for feeling whatever he was feeling, and for making her try to cast this Patronus on such a hard day. Couldn't he tell he was asking too much?

If he couldn't tell before, he definitely could now. He knelt down on the floor in front of her, much the way Lily's spirit had knelt in front of him when she visited him all those years ago. He was reminded of how similar those two girls were - Cassandra and Lily. He remembered his promise to not make the same mistakes again. Without thinking he reached for her.

"Cassandra. Don't cry. It's alright. You don't have to do this now. It's ok. Cassandra, it's alright." The stream of comforting words tasting strange in his mouth, but Cassi was sobbing against his chest with his arms around her shoulders. He pushed her back suddenly to look at her face. "Cassandra, what's wrong?" he demanded.

She took a moment to at least stop sobbing, and her tears abated a bit more while she stammered, "It's just...I couldn't sleep last night...and I'm so tired, and my head hurts...and I wanted to be able to go to Hogsmeade with everyone else...and Hermione told me-" She bit her lip. Now she'd done it. Snape wasn't to know about what Hermione had told her - that was completely out of the question. How could she cover for herself now?

"What did Miss Granger tell you?" Snape asked in a tone more gentle than she'd ever heard from him before. She took a shaky deep breath. "She - she told me that someone likes me, and I never thought he did before." That was the truth, wasn't it? She hadn't thought Snape had liked her before. She still wasn't sure, though. "She said that probably a lot of people will ask me to the Ball, but I'm not even sure I want to go. I don't want to be the center of attention; I just want to enjoy the time with my friends."

She looked down at her tear-stained robes, fighting the urge to cry again. Snape was quiet, then offered, "If past experience is anything to go by, I would recommend your attendance at the Ball. Many students in the past have seemed to truly enjoy the evening, and the rarity of the event does encourage attendance as well." She had no comment. At the moment, any event requiring her to do something besides sleeping held no appeal for her. Snape didn't say anything for a while. Eventually he stood up and helped her to her feet. He brushed away the traces of tears on her cheeks, then said quietly, "No more today, Miss Renner. Go get some sleep." Huskily, she said, "Yes, sir," and left the classroom.

On the way back to her dorm room, she realized how odd it was that Snape had called her Cassandra. Why? _Maybe he was just tired too, and didn't remember to call me Miss Renner in time._ She mused on this a while more, but then something happened that drove Snape from her mind.

Not paying attention to anything outside her mind, Cassi rounded a corner and ran into someone who innocently stepped around the corner at the exact time she did. Jerked out of her musings, she looked up to find herself in the arms of a tall, blond, pale boy whom she distinctly remembered from her first year.

"Draco?" she said, making sure she remembered his name. She hadn't spoken to him since that night in the boats. "Well hello, love," he grinned. "Fancy meeting you here." His smile faltered a little as he noticed something that wasn't in his script. He held her out at arms length. "Have you been crying?" he asked curiously.

Cassi swiped at her eyes, which she knew were red, with the sleeve of her robes. She shook her head vigorously. Draco grabbed her arm, trying to keep her from further irritating her inflamed eyes, and said, "Yes you have. What's wrong?" Cassi just shook her head again, not really wanting to start crying again. Draco looked as though he were fighting internally with himself, then his features softened into a sly smile. He said in a low voice, "Well, I stayed from Hogsmeade today because I was hoping to see you." Cassi looked up at him, not registering what he was saying. He tucked a wisp of hair behind her ear, then continued, "I just wanted to ask...will you go to the Yule Ball with me?"

Cassi stared at him. "That's still a long way off," she pointed out. "I know," he drawled, "but I wanted to get the best girl before she was gone." Cassi smiled wryly and said, "Not early enough, then?" Draco looked at her strangely, then stepped close and whispered, "What do you mean? I've got the best girl right here." He winked, causing her gape to turn into a blush and a soft laugh.

Cassi couldn't think very clearly. Her brain was still fuzzy from crying and from being in physical contact with two different people who appeared to like her in such a short time. Snape had hugged her (it wasn't exactly a hug, but close enough), and right now Draco was standing about three inches from her. She was having trouble deciding what to say. For some reason, she had a feeling that her friends wouldn't like it if she went to the Ball with Draco. But at the same time, what if she said no and then no one else asked her? Hermione could say all she wanted about her popularity, but Cassi knew it couldn't be true.

So, since her brain had turned traitor, she let her instincts decide. "Draco...I'd love to go to the Ball with you," she said with a soft smile. He returned it with a smirk. "Good," he breathed, then he bent down to cover the last few inches between them. He brushed a kiss against her cheek, then was gone before Cassi had recovered enough to see him go.


	14. Causing Problems

"You did _what?!_ "

Cassi was sitting across the table from Fred and George at breakfast the next morning, telling them about her encounter with Draco. She looked from one to the other, surprised at their reaction. Not sure what to say, she waited in silence for them to continue, which they soon did.

"He actually...and you...but he's...how did..." Fred sputtered at her. George leaned toward her seriously. "Did he force you to say yes?" he asked in a sad voice.

Cassi gave him a look. "Is Draco Malfoy so bad that any girl who says yes to him must have been under coercion?" she asked disapprovingly. "Yes," spat Fred. "That dirty, low, conniving little-"

"Guys," she cut him off, laying one hand on his arm and the other on George's. She understood their concern, but they really were overreacting. "I realize you're trying to look after me, and I appreciate it. But you've got to trust me on this." She heard Fred mutter under his breath, "Wouldn't let my own sister within ten feet of him." She smiled at both of them. "If this turns out to be the biggest mistake of my life, then I'll know I was wrong-"

"No one's saying you're wrong, Whisper," George suddenly said, looking at the table. Fred whirled to him. "We are!" he nearly yelled. "We can't let her go running around with that half-grown son of a-"

"We've got to, mate," George said, still staring at the table. Then he looked up at his twin. "Like it or not, our Whisper's old enough to make her own choices. If she wants to go to the Ball with...with Draco, then that's her choice. Our job is to stand behind her, whether we like the choice or not, and be ready to catch her if it falls through. Which we will, always, every time."

Fred and George held eye contact for a long moment. Then Fred turned to Cassi, and his eyes could have melted steel. "If Malfoy hurts you, on purpose or not, I will personally torture him to death. Then I'm kidnapping you and locking you away somewhere in Asia and you'll be guarded by Hungarian Horntails and Norwegian Ridgebacks, and I'm never letting you out of my sight again."

Geoge leaned over. "I stood up for you this one time, but if Malfoy does hurt you, I'm with Fred." Cassi felt rather than saw them fist bump under the table. She smiled. "Are you kidding? If Malfoy hurts me, I think I get first shot at him. And when I'm done, there won't be much left for you to torture."

For a split second, they stared at her with identical blank expressions. Then Fred said with a shrug, "That's fair." The meal-consumption that followed would never had led anyone to believe that Cassi and her two best friends had had any kind of deep conversation that morning. Jokes were held, taunts were exchanged, ham was thrown, and life was shared. Cassi knew she was lucky to have friends like the twins, and she smiled as she silently but fervently thanked whatever fate had brought them together.

* * *

Snape was pacing in his office that Sunday evening. He had missed dinner, but he didn't care. He couldn't think of food right now. He could only think of his strange, horrible predicament.

He stopped pacing and covered his eyes with one hand. "What has come over me?" he said out loud to the empty room. _What on earth possessed me to reach out to her like that? Of all the ways you could have comforted her, Snape, you chose to_ hug _her. Because that will help. Yes, a hug from the cruel, terrifying Potions professor, the bane of all first-years and seventh-years alike, will make everything better._ His conscience and his heart often engaged each other in battle, fighting for the right to control Snape's life. For the past 15 years his conscience had been the sole victor and sometimes the sole survivor of these encounters; he did what he felt he had to, not what he wanted to. Last night, his heart had finally scrounged a victory by letting him hug Cassandra. Tonight, his conscience was beating up on his heart, and like usual his heart wasn't defending its actions.

Why did the girl...this young girl, his student...why did she affect him like that? Why did Snape feel the need to look out for her, to make sure she was alright, even to comfort her? _It's probably because she reminds me of Lily,_ he told himself as he slowly walked over and sat at his desk. _She just makes me think of someone I once knew..._ Snape leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes. He knew his conscience was feeding his heart lies, but his heart wasn't buying it. He knew the truth.

He knew, no matter how awkward or how impossible it was, that he was falling in love with Cassandra Renner.

Being the person that he was, his first instinct was to justify and rationalize himself. He opened his eyes but stared unseeingly at the ceiling. _Why?_ he asked again. _If I really do...love...her, I must have a reason. Probably._ He tried to think. What would make an old Slytherin Potions master fall in love with an ambitious young Gryffindor?

He stood up abruptly. "This is ridiculous," he told his heart sternly. "It matters not in the least what you feel for her, because even if she could return your feelings, she wouldn't. Who would?" He stormed out of his office, locking his door as a precaution against the Weasley twins and any other would-be troublemakers, and headed toward his chambers.

As he prepared for bed, he realized it _did_ matter what he felt for Cassandra, because if he loved her, he would have to be more careful about setting up private lessons together. He didn't want her to feel that she was being pressured into returning his feeling. And if he didn't love her - well, he'd have to be more careful with the lessons anyway. He didn't want to encourage feelings that he had no intention of returning. So many decisions to make, so many things to consider, so many emotions to try to interpret. Snape's head ached just thinking about all the thinking and analyzing and reconnaissance he'd have to do now that this girl wouldn't leave him alone.

 _Curse the girl, anyway, for causing so many problems._


	15. The Yule Ball

"Will you just hold still!"

It was finally the night of the Yule Ball, and Hermione was trying to curl Cassi's hair. Cassi kept trying to look down at the dress she wore. "Are you sure I should be wearing this while you're doing my hair?" she asked fretfully. Hermione held up her wand. "If I were using a Muggle curler, I wouldn't let you wear your dress. But with this, it's ok." Cassi looked down at her dress again. "It's so beautiful...no one will believe it was picked out by two teenage boys." Hermione laughed and commented, "I helped too, you know. Now hold still!"

Cassi had begun worrying soon after being asked to the Ball about what she would wear, since she had no wizard money for a dress and she couldn't justify spending her Muggle money on something like that. The twins, Hermione, Harry, and Ron had secretly decided to buy a dress for Cassi and give it to her as an early Christmas present. Fred and George had insisted on picking it out, but they had grudgingly allowed Hermione to give them tips about what would look best on Cassi. Hermione and Harry, being the two richest schemers, paid for the whole thing. It was worth it, though, to see the look on Cassi's face.

The end result was an elegant, floor-length dress of sparkling midnight blue. Off-the-shoulder straps and fabric that pooled at her feet lent classy touches to the beautiful gown; the material seemed to shimmer when she moved, an endlessly fascinating sight. Cassi couldn't stop staring, even after she was wearing it. After the others had given her the dress Hermione had proudly presented her with a lovely velvet jewelry box, which contained a simple necklace that shone in the lamplight. Hermione had truly gone above and beyond to make Cassi's night special, though she knew that Hermione had her own nerves and excitement about going with Viktor Krum tonight. Perhaps micromanaging Cassi's experience was her way of coping with her anxiety.

"Finally! You have such thick hair I thought I'd die of old age before I finished, but it's done. Go look!" Hermione gave Cassi a little push toward the mirror. Cassi obligingly looked, and gasped in awe at what she saw.

Her long brown hair cascaded in soft curls down around her shoulders, and the necklace perfectly accented the shimmer of the fabric. Every move she made sent tiny gleams of light dancing. Cassi turned to her friend with a teary smile. "How on earth am I going to repay you?" she asked softly. Hermione smiled too. "Dance your heart out and have the time of your life. Draco will be the luckiest guy in the room." Cassi blushed, and Hermione let out a small laugh. "Come on, the guys are probably waiting for us downstairs."

At the first sign of sparkle entering the Gryffindor common room, George cried, "On your feet, vagrants! Their royal majesties the Queens approach!" Fred, Harry, and Ron, who had been lounging on the furniture, scrambled to their feet. Fred gallantly offered his arm to Hermione, who turned as pink as her dress, as George offered his to Cassi. "We'll be escorting you down to the entrance hall to find your dates," said George. Cassi thought she heard Fred mumble something about "wouldn't let my sister near him". She turned to George and whispered to him, "Will Fred be alright? About me going with Draco, I mean." George glanced at his twin, then replied quietly, "He doesn't like it, but he won't force you to do anything and he won't bother you about it. He'll be smug if he's right, but that's a Weasley for you. I'll always make sure you're treated right, even if it means I have to keep him in check." His eyes were unwavering, and Cassi couldn't help but hug him. She was very lucky, indeed.

"Alright, you two, let's get this party started!" said Fred. Smiling, George began leading Cassi toward the entrance hall. Once they were out of earshot of the others, George leaned close and whispered, "Also, you look beautiful. Fred and I sure know how to pick a dress." She chuckled and whispered, "Thanks." Droppimg his voice even quieter, he said, "If you need to escape tonight, just come to that-" he pointed "-statue. We've got a charm on it so we'll know if you're there." Cassi smiled at their thoughtfulness but just said, "Ok. I will." Then Draco Malfoy came into view.

He looked bored, but straightened up when he saw her. When Cassi slipped a hand under Draco's elbow and let go of George's, Draco sneered, " _Thank_ you, Weasley. I don't know what I'd do without you." George had already turned to go, but he whirled back around to stand nose-to-nose with Draco, forcing Cassi to let go of his arm. "Look, Malfoy," he ground out, "you're lucky I'm letting her go with you at all. I'm doing this for her, not you. One false move, and you're dead." With that he spun away and left as fast as his long legs could take him.

Draco turned his eyes to Cassi. "Well. Bit of a drama queen, isn't he?" he smirked as he offered his arm again. She took it with a faint blush and a hesitant smile. "He's just trying to protect me," she replied, hoping the night wouldn't be spent trying to diffuse tension between Malfoy and the Weasleys. She wasn't sure if she was relieved or not when his next words were, "And you're worth protecting. You look lovely tonight, that dress brings out the full beauty of your eyes." She shyly looked away and thanked him. What else could she do?

* * *

After that, the night passed in a blur of dancing and blushing. Draco seemed to feel it necessary to compliment her dress or her hair or her eyes every few minutes. Even knowing what her friends all thought of him, Cassi couldn't help but wonder if Draco didn't actually care for her. She spent most of the night wondering if she cared for him back. But it was hard to think with those gray eyes staring into hers.

About halfway through the night, after a particularly fast dance, Draco noticed her flushed face and pulled her off the dance floor. Leaning toward her ear to be heard over the babble of the crowd, he said, "It's too warm in here, isn't it? Come with me." He took her hand and guided her through the crowd and out the doors on the east side of the room to the snow-covered courtyard. The front and right sides of the courtyard opened to the school grounds, while the left side was blocked in by a solid wall with protruding stone columns every few meters. Short bushes studded the edge of a walkway between them and the columns. Draco led her partway down this walkway. Once they were standing alone outside, Cassi turned around to look back at the doors. "Are we allowed to be out here?" she asked uncertainly. She began to turn back to face Draco. "Didn't Dumbledore say-"

Her next words were cut off when Draco slid a hand around her waist and pulled her head to him with the other, pressing his lips against hers. Whatever she had just been about to say had jumped out the window. In the shock of her first real kiss, her brain short-circuited.

To her amazement, once she regained the ability to take in sensation, she realized she was kissing him back. Cassi was standing in the snow at the Yule Ball kissing Draco Malfoy. Suddenly an image flashed into her head - Fred staring down at the table muttering, "Wouldn't let my sister near him," and George looking at her sadly and asking, "Did he force you to say yes?" She realized they had warned her that something like this might happen. She tried to pull away, but Draco held her closer to him. She began to panic and roughly shoved him away. They looked at each other, both of them breathless. Then Draco began to saunter toward her again. She began backing away from him, but she was between two columns with her back facing solid wall. She had nowhere to go.

"What's wrong?" he asked, his voice falsely sweet. "Are you afraid of a kiss? Or are you afraid of me?" She felt her back touch the stone behind her, and she began trembling. However, she kept her head high. "I'm not afraid of you," she said. He smirked. "Then why won't you kiss me?"

"I did," she said with a blush. He closed the distance between them to an inch. "Show me," he breathed, then bent his head and met her lips again. She didn't know what to do. She could feel herself involuntarily kissing him back and tried to break contact. _Please, stop,_ she mentally begged both herself and him. It didn't work. She kissed him back, leaning into him and putting her hands on his chest. She closed her eyes painfully. _An interruption would be great about now,_ she thought desperately. _Fred, George, please..._

Suddenly, the pressure that had been increasing on her lips was gone. She opened her eyes, gasping, and looked around for her hero. She froze.

Draco was on his back in the snow, scrambling away from a thunderous Snape.

She had never seen the Slytherin professor so furious, especially not at someone from his own House. His black robes billowed in the winter wind as he towered over Draco's prone form. " _Get...inside,_ " Snape thundered. Draco obliged as quickly as he could. Once the door had closed behind him, Snape turned his head to Cassi but kept his back to her. "Get inside the castle," he snapped. She was frozen in surprise for a moment. _Is he mad at_ me, _too?_ Still trembling, she whispered, "Yes, Professor," and slowly made her way to another door.

Once inside, she stumbled to the statue George had pointed out earlier and sat at its base, physically and emotionally numb. About ten seconds later, she heard two sets of feet running toward her. Fred and George were coming from opposite directions and saw her at the same time, but Fred was able to get there first. He put an arm around her shoulders to keep her upright as his other hand grabbed her wrist. "Are you alright? What happened?" he demanded. Cassi tried to answer, but as soon as she opened her mouth, she burst into tears. Fred looked at her for a second before pulling her close and letting her cry into his chest. George was kneeling next to them. "Fred, take her up to our room," he said quietly. Fred looked up. "Shouldn't we take her to her own roo-"

"Can't. Stupid 'no boys' enchantment, remember?" Fred glanced at the sobbing Cassi. "Alright. What're you gonna do?" He made eye contact with George.

"I'm gonna make excuses to our dates," George said grimly. "And if I see Malfoy along the way, I'm gonna kill him." The twins split up. Lifting Cassi in his arms, Fred quickly carried her through the corridors and up the stairs to the dorm room he shared with George and Lee Jordan. He kicked prank supplies off one bed and tried to gently lay Cassi down, but she clung to him frantically. "Please, stay," she croaked.

Fred looked down at her tear-stained face and stroked her hair. "I'm not going anywhere," he assured her gently. He reached for a blanket to wrap around her shoulders for warmth, then wrapped her in his own arms for security. They sat like that, Fred leaning against the headboard and Cassi curled against his chest, until she fell asleep.


	16. Search Your Feelings

Cassi woke up slowly the next morning with no idea where she was. She groggily lifted her head, then realized she was lying on a sleeping Fred's chest. _Oh. Oops._ Going slowly so as not to black out, she sat up and surveyed her surroundings. She was in what was very obviously Fred, George, and Lee Jordan's room. Prank supplies and experiments covered everything except one small corner, where two broomsticks stood carefully. There were three beds - one held her and Fred, one was covered by a sprawling George, and Hermione occupied the third. She watched as Hermione stirred, then sleepily sat up. Her eyes widened as she realized she wasn't in her own room, but she relaxed when her memories caught up to her. Cassi hated the pitying look Hermione got when they made eye contact. "Hey," she whispered. "Let's get out of here before they wake up." Cassi tried to smile and nodded. Together the girls gathered their things and tiptoed out of the room, leaving the boys sleeping soundly.

The girls had changed out of their formal attire from the night before but were still carrying their accessories, so by unspoken consent, Cassi took all the shoes and jewelry and handbags into the girls' dorm alone, then came down to the common room where Hermione was waiting with two mugs of hot chocolate. Both girls sat on the couch near the fire, and Cassi stared into the flames, trying to ignore or forget what had happened the night before. Before long, though, Hermione turned to face her. "Cassi," she began, "I need to know what happened last night. I don't care if you think I'm nosy, because I think so too, and I hate doing this to you, but it has to be done, so please don't fight me about it." Cassi looked up at her friend, who had a pained expression on her face, then returned her gaze to the fire. "I don't think you're nosy, Hermione," she whispered.

Slowly and hesitantly at first, Cassi began to tell her friend what had transpired between herself and Malfoy. Hermione's gaze was sympathetic and sorrowful, but Cassi didn't notice. All she could see as she stared into the flames was Draco's gray eyes advancing on her spitefully and Snape snarling at both of them. She finished her story, quietly telling Hermione how she had asked Fred to stay with her, and her eyes were filled with tears as she lowered them to her lap. She couldn't get past the image of Snape refusing to turn and face her. "He was furious...and I knew it was my fault...and I felt so horrid for hurting him so much. My fault..." She pulled her knees to her chest and let the first real tears fall. "I should have done something more, I should have fought harder...my fault..."

Hermione reached over and placed her hand on Cassi's shoulder. "There was nothing you could have done," she said firmly. "And even if you had somehow gotten free without Snape's help, Malfoy just would have been mad and tried to get back at you. As it is, he only wants to get back at Snape." Cassi suddenly looked up with a fierce expression in her eyes. Would he try to get revenge on the professor? "If he does anything to Snape, just because he foiled Malfoy's plan and saved me, I'm going to kill him."

Hermione gave a small smile, then looked at Cassi seriously. For a moment she sat there, trying to pick her words tactfully, then apparently gave up because the next thing she blurted was, "Do you love Snape?"

Cassi was frozen. Love - love Snape? How would she know? Even with the large amount of time he spent in her thoughts, that particular query had not crossed her mind yet. What did she feel about him? She had no idea. She searched her memories of him, trying to find anything that could give her a clue about she should respond.

 _Snape's gaze coming to rest on her after her Sorting...that was the first time she saw him, and the first thing that had made her notice him._

 _His eyes when he agreed to give her lessons...she hadn't ever expected to see compassion in his gaze, but it had been there, and it showed he understood her when she needed to know that she wasn't alone._

 _The way he had told her all he knew about her parents...he had seen how important it was to her, so he had gone out of his way to help her._

 _When he had asked about her summer...she hated lying to him, but couldn't tell him the truth because she was afraid of what he might do. Of how rash his protectiveness might be._

 _His smile as he said "welcome back"...she had never seen him smile before, and it felt good to know that she was one of the few people who could make him smile._

 _The way he had comforted her when she broke down...at the time it hadn't fully registered, but later she had realized that Snape had actually hugged her, and it had comforted her immensely to know that he didn't think less of her for showing weakness._

 _His voice when he caught hold of Malfoy...Snape had rescued her, and as she sat there by the fire looking back with a clearer head and thinking of him, she knew she wouldn't have wanted anyone else to save her._

Gratitude, dependence, trust, respect...nothing but positive feelings for a man so many hated. He had become an integral part of her life, a foundation that she couldn't live eithout anymore. He was nearly as close as family - he cared for her, taught her, kept her safe. He was at the core of all of the things that had happened in her life that had made it better. And suddenly, clear as a spring rain, she knew what she felt.

She knew, no matter how awkward or impossible it was, that she was falling in love with Severus Snape.


	17. Questions

Betrayed. That was about the only way to describe how Snape had felt when he saw Cassandra with Draco last night. Betrayed.

He was pacing his office, as he seemed to do so often these days, and fuming silently to himself. He had been forced to keep his emotions under lock and key all day while in his obligatory staff meetings, but now that he was alone, he took a furious kind of satisfaction in setting them free.

 _How could she do that. She and Malfoy, slobbering all over each other like first-years in the broom cupboard. Malfoy isn't even worth her attention - she could have chosen anyone in the school and she chose him. What makes him better than everyone else? It's not his good breeding; he learned that from his father, and Lucius got a Black for a wife. He's nothing like her type, she shouldn't have anything to do with him._ Trying to restrain himself from breaking things, he listened as his brain began to accuse his heart for getting him into this mess. _I should have let them be. Their actions are their own and I have no right to meddle. But, in another stellar display of ridiculous emotions, I am now entangled in a precarious position, the continuation of which will likely eventually require the disclosure of my true emotions on the topic of Cassandra Renner and both of our expulsions from the school. If this were not in itself enough, should I follow through with my defense of the ridiculous girl, my opponent in this battle is Malfoy. My classmate's_ son _. That's pathetic. We're both pathetic, Malfoy and I._

 _But she's not._

Snape immediately stopped his pacing, surprised at the defiant response his heart had just sent his brain. Feeling like a spectator to his own emotions, he was even more amazed to find that his heart hadn't finished.

 _She isn't pathetic. Cassandra. She's worth it. Whatever it takes. Because she's my second chance. She's_ my _second chance, for all the things that could have been once upon a time_ _, and it is unacceptable to let Malfoy walk away with her. That's why I have to have this fight. I already know I feel for her...and I need her. If I can't have this chance to finally live again...I don't know what will happen. I already only have half a will to keep going. Without her, I won't have anything to fight for, and I won't have anything to live for._

Snape's heart fell silent, and his brain took advantage of the lull to attack.

 _And what exactly do I hope will happen between us? There is_ nothing _that could attract her to me. We have nothing in common beyond residence at this school and horrific childhoods. Many of the barriers between us have been surmounted by others in the past, it's true, but the chance that she could look past the fact that I am a double agent for both the Dark Lord and Dumbledore is nonexistent. There are too many reasons for her to reject me. What is there to make_ anyone _love me? Nothing._

At that, his heart rallied its defense.

 _There is as of yet no proof that she wouldn't love me. She's very much like Lily, and Lily was my friend when no one else would be. Maybe Cassandra will be the same. And I care for her deeply - this much I know, if I have yet to fully accept it. Does that count for nothing?_

 _We'll see,_ said his brain. Then it fell silent, conceding the victory.

Snape sat down at his desk, feeling drained after the mental battle. Slowly beginning to understand that this girl was a fixed part of his life now he let his mind wander a bit, and he wondered if she ever thought about him like this. _If this ever becomes something serious between us,_ Snape promised himself, _I'll ask her what exactly she thinks of me._

* * *

Cassi stood in the girls' bathroom brushing her teeth that night. Hermione and her other roommate were both already asleep, so Cassi had stayed up and tried to read. Not able to concentrate, she had finally decided to get ready for bed. Wearing soft blue pajamas and warm black slippers, Cassi brushed her teeth and looked at herself in the mirror.

 _What is it that everyone supposedly sees in me?_ she thought to herself. _Why does Hermione say boys notice me? Do they really? Why? Fred and George don't notice me like that. Do they? T_ _he boys can't all have noticed me. But which ones have? Is there any way to know? I'm so bad at this._

Cassi finished with her teeth and began to slowly brush through her hair. _I guess it doesn't matter which ones have noticed me unless I have someone specific in mind that I want to know about. Which I suppose I do..._ She stopped brushing. Draco wasn't much of a secret; it was clear to her that he was not her type. The person she truly wanted to know about was someone much different. She was _very_ interested in what he might feel for her - more interested than she thought she should be. She bit her lip, trying to wrap her mind around the fact that she felt something more than friendship. _Just admit it to yourself,_ she thought. _Say it out loud. Convince yourself._

Cassi looked at her reflection, hairbrush forgotten, and eventually breathed into the empty room, "I'm...I love Severus Snape." Almost immediately she dropped her brush and flung herself over the counter, head in her hands. W _hy did I have to fall in love? It's just making everything more complicated. I_ do _want to know what Snape thinks of me. But what could there be for me to find? He's my Potions professor, for crying out loud. What could he possibly feel for anyone, let alone me?_

Cassi slowly picked up her brush, set it on the counter, and stared at her reflection. She saw an average-height, average-weight, brown-haired, antisocial, frightened, lonely, abused little girl. _Is this what everyone sees when they look at me?_ She didn't know how the rest of the world judged attractive girls, but her reflection did not fit her own criteria.

Deciding she couldn't solve her problems by staring at herself and feeling pitiful, she gathered up her things and walked to her room. Quietly opening and closing the door, she padded softly to her bed and crawled under the covers. Her eyes beginning to close by themselves, she thought sleepily, _If this deal with Snape ever turns into anything serious, I'll ask him what it is that everyone sees._


	18. All Is Forgiven?

The bell rang, signalling the end of Potions, when Cassi heard something she thought she'd never hear again.

"Miss Renner."

No one else seemed to notice the quiet phrase, but Cassi froze, abandoning the equipment she was packing. _I think Snape just said my name._ Surely he wouldn't want to talk to her so soon after the whole Malfoy fiasco - unless she was in trouble. She swallowed, then quietly said, "Yes professor." She stayed where she was until the room was empty, then cautiously approached his desk, avoiding looking at him. What would she see if she met his gaze? Hurt? Anger? Disgust? She didn't want to know.

Nerves made her forget the details afterwards, but to the best of her memory, Snape had emotionlessly told her to meet him that night in the classroom for Defense lessons. Cassi had agreed without thinking, just thankful she wasn't being punished, but in retrospect as she lay on her bed before dinner, she wished she hadn't. _You know you're just going to end up saying something stupid and making him more upset,_ she berated herself. _Besides, even if he doesn't show it, you know he's mad at you. How could he not be? Think of how...that night must have looked to him._ She shivered. _If you ever wanted a chance with Severus Snape, you blew it._

Finally it was time to meet Snape. Dinner had come and gone like a blur, moving far too fast for Cassi's taste - although she was happy to get out from under the cold, detached glare coming from the teachers' table through the entire meal. Cassi locked the door of her dorm, hoping her roommates wouldn't be back soon, and began hunting through her Muggle clothes. Unlike the other times Snape had given her lessons, tonight she was supposed to wear something more normal than her robes. Snape had warned her with a sneer that her lesson wouldn't be a piece of pie and that it might be a few hours, so she decided to wear lighter clothes. She never noticed that her top showed off the new scar on her neck and the old ones along her arms.

Before she knew it she was opening the door to the Potions classroom. Snape stood near his desk facing away from the door in the empty room. The only light came from a lamp and a few candles, making it hard to see anything that wasn't directly lit. Cassi quietly closed the door behind her, stood looking at him for a moment, then sat down at one of the backmost desks. For a moment everything was still, then Snape spoke.

"Do you know what Occlumency is."

It was phrased like a question, but spoken like a statement. Cassi answered quietly, "Yes, professor. It's when -"

"And do you know what a Legilimens is."

This time, Cassi just said, "Yes, professor."

After a pause, Snape turned and looked at her. Their eyes met, and Cassi hated how distanced and unfeeling his gaze was. Suddenly she just wanted everything out in the open. She stood from her desk and began to walk toward him. "Professor, please, I'm so sorry, Malfoy just - I didn't have time, I wa-"

"Not now, Miss Renner!" he snapped, eyes flashing. Cassi immediately stopped. All pretense was out the window, and Snape was making very little effort to mask his betrayal. " _If_ you don't mind and can refrain from regaling me with your tales of woe and regret, we will continue with your lessons _which_ , may I remind you, are being administered at your own request!" His glare dared her to contradict him, something she had no intention of doing. She was still recoiling from his outburst. They continued to stare at each other, each seeing the pain in the other's eyes, then after a brief pause Snape turned swiftly and began to pace the room, throwing a myriad of hazy shadows on the walls.

"Years of training and practice have allowed me to become proficient in both Occlumency and Legilimency. Tonight I will teach you Occlumency." He glanced at her scornfully, his expression saying that he seriously doubted she would succeed. He continued, "I will break into your mind. Stop me." And without any more warning, he pointed his wand at her and said in a deadly quiet voice, "Legilimens."


	19. Legilimency

"Legilimens."

And suddenly the Potions classroom vanished.

Cassi had still been stunned from Snape's rant and wasn't ready to fend him off, but Snape didn't care. His conscience told him he was taking advantage of her, but he didn't care. He justified himself by saying that he was simulating real life circumstances. Deep down, he knew that was just a cover-up. He was here for revenge - to teach her a lesson.

Because she wasn't ready, Snape whisked through a whirlwind of memories, looking for her worst fears, her darkest secrets, memories she hated and had chosen to forget, pulling them to the front of her mind and not being any too gentle about it. She had betrayed him...he took guilty satisfaction in feeling her pain.

At first he didn't really care what it was he inflicted on her. Memory after memory crashed over her which, in turn, sent her pain crashing over him. Then, as he became more aware of what exactly those memories were, he paid less attention to how she felt about them. What was he seeing?

A toddler with frightened blue eyes. _Cassandra_. A middle-aged, filthy-looking man leering down at her, telling her with repressed frustration that her parents were dead. Snape mentally snarled. _Waters_. The girl not fully understanding until the man said she would be living with him now, and that there would be no more "hocus-pocus funny business." The girl panicking and trying to run from him, earning her first beating. The girl sobbing heartbreakingly for her father as the beating continued. That memory ended.

A complacent-looking seven-year-old Cassi sitting on the back porch of a rickety house, staring dreamily off into space with her chin in her hand as the sun came over the horizon. The girl being jerked to attention by the slamming of the door behind her and the hollering of the man, wanting to know why she had snuck out in the middle of the night and what she had done. Cassi explaining calmly that she had been out since just after dinner the day before, but the door had been locked when she tried to get in that evening. Waters demanding why she didn't knock, and her replying that she had. The man grinning and saying that he never heard a thing. Another beating. That memory faded too.

Another early morning scene. Cassi furtively trying to open a pantry door silently and being scared out of her skin by a menacing voice asking what in blazes she thought she was doing. The girl stammering something about being hungry - no meals in two days. Waters proceeding to relieve her of her next few meals as well. Suddenly Cassi straightening, the terror gone from her face, and beginning to rant at him, shouting and cursing. A horrible pause. Then the worst beating of her life, a steady stream of cursing pouring from Waters the whole time. About ten seconds in, Snape couldn't take it any more. He pulled out of her mind.

Suddenly they were both back in the classroom. Cassi now lay shaking and crying silently on the floor where she had collapsed, crushed by the revisiting of her worst memories. Snape stood looking at her, just now realizing how horrifying her short life had been. His earlier, unreasonable anger forgotten, now he was furious - _and with good reason,_ he fumed. He knelt beside Cassi in the dim classroom, noticing for the first time the usually-covered scars on her neck and arms. He reached out and grabbed her wrist, causing her to flinch away and whimper. Suddenly she realized what he was looking at, and she realized that her choice of clothing showed the worst of the marks. She frantically tried to pull away, but his grip was like steel. So were his eyes.

Paying no attention to her struggles, he pulled her wrist closer to inspect the marks. He was boiling now. _This isn't new,_ he thought. _She lied when I asked if things were better. There must be memories from this summer..._

Without another thought, he repeated the incantation and immersed himself in her memories.

This time, knowing more specifically what he was looking for, the memories came too fast to form into pictures. They were just fleeting impressions, scraps of what had gone through her mind as the events happened, sometimes bits of color or part of an image. Whatever the form, all the memories carried the same undertones - pain, despair, loneliness, fear, helplessness. It felt like the list of horrible memories went on forever. _So many..._

Then a single memory, unbidden and unexpected, appeared to take the place of the others. It moved in real-time, allowing Snape to fully absorb everything. It was of Cassandra standing in front of a mirror. Snape's anger slowly faded as he watched.

She stood there appraising her reflection. From the expression on her face and the undercurrent of her emotions bleeding through the mental connection, Snape knew she didn't think much of herself. That started to make him mad again. _She doesn't know. She should know I would never have been this upset over someone who wasn't worth it._ He didn't understand how she couldn't see how imoortant she was, but a moment later it didn't matter.

He stopped wondering. He stopped thinking. He stopped functioning. He stopped breathing. He just stood and stared.

He could have sworn that he had just heard Cassandra Renner whisper, "I'm...I love Severus Snape."

The shock of hearing it in real life, not just his dreams, sent him careening back to the Potions classroom, where he was still kneeling beside a shaking and sniffling Cassandra. He looked down at her, realizing how much pain he had put her through. Bewildered by his revelations and exhausted by his day, all he managed to do was stand, say "We're done", and help her up. She stood shakily for a few seconds, unsteady on her feet after her recent mental trauma, then made her way to the door. The second she left, Snape collapsed in his chair and sat like that for the next five hours.

The whole time, three words were pounding against his brain, never leaving him alone.

 _She loves me._


	20. Battle Plans

"Renner!"

Cassi slowly turned around to see the Weasley twins determinedly advancing on her. _I don't think they've ever called me Renner before,_ she thought in surprise. _Something's not right..._ "Hey guys, what's going on?" she said casually. They said nothing and kept coming. When they reached her, Fred grabbed her left arm and George grabbed her right. They kept walking. Cassi didn't even bother struggling. If they were mad at her, fighting would only make it worse. Besides, she knew she couldn't break their grip anyway.

The twins dragged her outside, across the open grass, and toward the Quidditch field. "Um, guys?" she tried. No response. She sighed tiredly. _I just want to go to bed..._ That's all she'd wanted to do since her "Occlumency lesson" almost a week ago.

Finally the twins reached their destination. Cassi found herself shoved into the base of the announcer's stand on the Quidditch pitch. Fred and George blocked any escape route, arms crossed and eyes glaring. Cassi was just grateful Oliver Wood wasn't around; that could have made things really awkward. Cassi's attention was jerked back to the twins when Fred said, "Alright, Renner. We're done with this. It's got to change. You've been hiding from us, and we want to know why." George continued, "You know we won't judge you, whatever the reason is. But as your best friends, we've got a right to know, especially when whatever it is is making you ignore your friends and your schoolwork."

Cassi looked from one redhead to the other. "What makes you think something's up?" she asked evasively. Fred snorted. "Please. You think we didn't notice? Ever since the Yule Ball, you've been quiet and isolated. You don't talk to anyone, and you're annoyed when anyone talks to you. Whenever we ask if you want to do something, you either don't even respond or you just say 'Not right now' and lock yourself in your room. Hermione told us you do that to her, too. You always look like you've been crying, and particularly this past week, you look like you haven't been sleeping at all." Here George growled, "If it's Malfoy still, I swear-"

"Will you leave Malfoy out of this!" she exploded suddenly, shocking the twins into silence. "I'm so sick of Malfoy! Listen well, because this is the only time I'm going to say this. I could care less whether what happened at the Ball was real or imagined. Could you really think I'm so shallow that I'm still letting him bother me? He's the least of my worries! I don't care two bits about Malfoy, especially not in light of this whole Snape thing-"

Cassi never got to finish her rant, because the second the word "Snape" left her mouth, pandemonium ensued. "What has that fleabag done?" "I thought you told us he wasn't bothering you-" "Have you talked to Dumbledore?" "I swear, the next time I see him-" "I knew there was something fishy about those 'lessons'-"

"STOP!" Cassi screamed. Dead silence fell over the field. She took a short breath, feeling like she wanted to cry but refusing to give in. Looking down at the ground, she said as steadily as she could, "As I've said, Snape doesn't pick on me. He never has." Suddenly she smiled wryly. "Except the first detention he gave me..." George spoke up quietly, "Then what's bothering you so much?"

Cassi looked up. She saw two pairs of brown eyes, gazing at her expectantly. _They are my best friends,_ she told herself. _I can tell them. They might laugh, but they'll always support me._ Still, she couldn't maintain eye contact. Her eyes dropped to the grass, and she said softly, "You want to know why Snape has made me miserable?" She looked up. "I love him."

For the second time in as many minutes, the field was absolutely silent. The twins stood looking at her with unreadable expressions, and Cassi looked right back, ready to take their laughter and derision. For a long moment nothing happened.

Then Fred turned to George with a smirk and said smugly, "I told you so."

It took a moment for Cassi to process what he had said. Her jaw dropped. "Wait...you knew?" she asked weakly. George grinned sheepishly. "Well, we kind of...forced it out of Hermione." Fred interjected, "We weren't _really_ going to do anything to her. But for some reason she seemed to think we would." George shook his head in mock disbelief. Fred continued triumphantly, "But even before she told us, I had my suspicions. Genius here didn't believe me, but who ended up being right? I tell you, it's amazing how identical twins can be so intellectually opposite."

George shoved him. Cassi just stood blankly watching them wrestle, still reeling from their revelation. Slowly her mind began to catch up. "So you aren't mad at me? You aren't going to yell at me about the fact that he's a Slytherin, or a professor, or anything? You're really not mad?"

At that, Fred and George both stopped fighting. "Whisper," said George, "I let you go to the Yule Ball with someone I didn't trust. It didn't turn out so well. I should have been there to save you, but I wasn't. Someone else was. He happened to be both a Slytherin and a professor." The twins grimaced, each knowing what George was about to say. Cassi looked up at him expectantly. George looked down at her in resignation. "I've sort of learned to appreciate this particular Slytherin professor," he said quietly. Cassi broke into a smile. They wouldn't try to change her mind about Snape. Fierce hugs were in store for everyone before they began to make their way inside.

* * *

Unknowingly standing in the same spot Malfoy had when he was planning his scheme, Snape watched the three figures from the top of the Astronomy Tower, laying his battle plans. He couldn't hear their conversation, but he had a pretty good guess as to what had been said. He wasn't angry that the Weasleys knew their secret; in fact, he was glad for it. Since the boys' reaction had obviously been positive, hopefully they had encouraged Cassandra and made her more comfortable with their odd relationship. Snape grimaced. It was strange enough for him, being in love with someone so much younger than he, but for her? He couldn't even imagine.

Apparently, though, it didn't stop her from loving him, and he was immensely grateful for that. Snape fervently hoped that whatever drew Casandra to him was strong enough to hold through a storm - there could very well be a tempest coming.

Tonight, he would confront her about his feelings, and he would tell her what he really was.


	21. Keep My Secret

During dinner that night, Cassi sat ensconced between Fred and George and across from Hermione, Harry, and Ron. The Tri-Wizard Tournament had confiscated much of Harry's free time, meaning that a meal with him was a chance to catch up. She and Harry were talking away, while Fred, George, and Hermione were arguing in furious whispers about Cassi staying at the Burrow over the summer (the twins refused to abandon their plan, and Hermione refused to impose on Mrs. Weasley two summers in a row). Ron wasn't paying much attention to either of the conversations, but Snape was. From the corner of her eye, Cassi could see him glance at their table every so often. She tried to ignore him, but given her feelings, that was a little difficult.

Finally she and Harry ran out of things to talk about, Ron was done eating, and the other three had called for a cease-fire. Ready to be alone with a book, Cassi stood and said, "Alright, I've got better things to do than hang around you lot." Amid protestations of sanity and several retorts with choice names, she grinned and left the Great Hall.

As she approached the staircase which led to the Gryffindor common room, she was stunned to see Snape standing there, apparently waiting for her. Her step faltered for a moment, but she soon recovered it. She walked up to him, hoping he was waiting for someone else. "Professor? Did you need me?" she asked, proud of the way her voice barely trembled.

"Yes, Miss Renner, I did. I believe it is high time we had a little talk." His expression was unreadable, but Cassi had a feeling she knew what their talk was going to be about. She swallowed. "Yes, professor. When would you like to talk?"

"Now, if you have time," he replied. She glanced in the direction of the Common Room. Her book was calling...but so was Snape, and she knew there wasn't competition between the two. "I have time." Snape nodded once and gestured back the way she had come. She began to move in that direction, and Snape fell into step beside her. It was strange to be walking side-by-side with him, she thought. As if they were equals. It was like Cassi wasn't a student anymore, and Snape wasn't a professor. They were just two people walking together. The thought made her light-headed.

Before long Snape had directed her outside. They had taken a back way, hoping to avoid as many people as possible, and now stood by the Black Lake, looking across it toward the castle. Considering it was mid-winter it was incredibly mild, and Cassi's robes and cloak were enough to keep the cold out. The sun had just set, leaving a trail of purple clouds in its wake along the horizon. The sky directly overhead was clear, and pinpoints of light studded the midnight blue expanse. From the other side of the lake, Hogwarts stood proudly against the dusky green of the Forest. Some of the towers radiated light, others stood dark and silent. It was a beautiful night.

Cassi and Snape stood quietly for a few minutes. It almost seemed a crime to disturb such a peaceful night by talking. But Cassi knew that it had to be done eventually.

"Professor, if this is about the...the memory you saw, I'm sorry. I had no business saying anything like that. I apologize." The words hung in the air between them. Snape broke the silence to ask quietly, "But did you mean it?" Refusing to look at him, she continued to stare at the castle and whispered, "Yes."

For all Cassi could tell, Snape was not affected by the news. His face remained impassive as he said, "I'm afraid I have a story to tell you which may change your mind." Then he turned to face her, and by the faint light from the castle, Cassi could see how serious he was. "This is information to which exactly two people in the world are privy, one of whom is myself. You are about to become the third. Do not abuse this privilege." Cassi managed to nod. _What can he possibly have to say that's so important?_ She supposed she would find out. As she watched, Snape turned back to the castle. He stood like that for a minute, organizing his thoughts, then he began to speak in a slow, quiet voice.

"You may or may not know," he said, "that I attended Hogwarts the same years that Harry Potter's parents did. James Potter and Lily Evans. Also Remus Lupin and Sirius Black, if you care. Potter, Lupin, Black, and Peter Pettigrew were an inseparable, insufferable group of friends whose goal in life was to make people miserable - Slytherins in general, and me in particular. They all hated me, but especially Potter and Black. And I hated them too. I could have ignored them but Potter was never one to let me off easy...he thought that Lily and I were a little too close, despite it being none of his business, and made it his mission to break off the one good thing in my life. I hated him...but I loved her." Cassi could hear the bitterness in his voice. She was surprised to find no bitterness in her own as she whispered "I'm sorry." She wasn't jealous of Lily. Maybe because she knew Lily had been killed, and maybe because she was friends with Lily's son. Anyway, if Snape had loved her, then she was probably someone Cassi would have liked. Suddenly he began talking again, but it sounded as though he was telling a different story now. "You know I was in Slytherin. Like so many students from that House I became a Death Eater when I left Hogwarts." He turned to her, dark eyes bitter. "I have been a follower of the Dark Lord ever since," he stated bluntly. "If you wish to leave now you may, although there is more to the story." Cassi didn't even blink. She doubted she could have walked away even if she wanted to, she was so shocked; but she would stay and hear everything before judging him. _Although this explains a lot..._

Snape gave a small smile when he saw that Cassi was staying. At least she would know why he was the way he was. Before she walked out of his life forever. His smile faded as the memories came crashing back. "I became a Death Eater," he repeated, "though I was young and only cared about the power the Dark Lord promised. I never cared about his plans or wished to bring them about myself if he should fall. I wasn't blindly devoted to him, like so many of my classmates and their families." Snape's eyes were focused on some distant memory, and Cassi could swear she saw the threat of tears in his eyes.

"I learned of his plan to kill the Potters a few days before it happened," he said in a voice barely above a whisper. "I asked the Dark Lord to spare Lily. His goal was to end Harry, he didn't have to kill Lily or James. So I begged him to let Lily live. He claimed he would, but I didn't believe him. I couldn't trust Lily's life in the Dark Lord's hands. So I went to Dumbledore." Snape dropped his gaze to the still, black water in front of them. "I told him of the Dark Lord's plan. I asked him to hide Lily. I told him I'd do anything." A single tear slipped down his face. "She still died," he whispered.

Cassi had already forgiven him all faults, but he soon straightened and resumed his narrative. "After the Dark Lord's fall, I knew he wasn't gone for good. When he came back I needed to be able to know his plans. So I came here to teach, reporting to Dumbledore secretly while pretending to be a Death Eater. When the Dark Lord returned I was high in his good graces because I had continued his work believing he would be back. Ever since, I've been 'keeping an eye' on both Harry and Dumbledore, while also reporting to Dumbledore about the Dark Lord's plans." He paused, the turned to face Cassi. "That's what there is to know about me. I'll understand if you wish to cease your lessons. Not many could love a double-agent Death Eater." He looked back over the water, fully convinced that she would walk away.

Cassi didn't know what to do. What if he was lying? Maybe for now she should stall, give herself time to think things over. _But it doesn't matter,_ she realized, _because whether he's lying or not, I love him. Merlin's beard, I don't even care if he's a Death Eater. I love him._

Not having anything left to say, she stepped in and kissed him.

She surprised him (she surprised herself too), and at first he froze. She pulled away after a second, unsure of why he wasn't responding. She started to step away, embarrassed, but suddenly his arm was around her waist, holding her still. She looked up in surprise. Cassi and Snape stood staring at each other for a minute, then Snape did something she'd never seen him do. He smiled. It wasn't a grimace or a smirk, and it wasn't even a small smile. It was a happy, excited smile, like a little boy on Christmas. The effect was amazing. His whole face lit up, and he no longer looked like a man carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders. He looked the way he should have looked his whole life.

His new-found smile was incredibly contagious, and Cassi smiled back. Still feeling like she'd overstepped her bounds, though, she tried to pull away. Snape's arm wouldn't let her. "Am I to assume from your obviously-impulsive displays of affection that you still love me?" he teased her. She blushed, but kept smiling. "It depends," she said, "do you love me?" He used his free hand to brush a strand of hair from her face. "Never doubt it," he said softly. Cassi smiled and said, "Well then, I do still love you. Because I just can't help it."


	22. Why

A few days passed. The Weasley clan had not given Cassi any kind of a break about her romantic encounter with Snape (the twins had ruthlessly kidnapped her when she came back inside, and as soon as they knew, so did Harry, Ron, and Hermione). Hermione and Harry tried to stick up for her, but she hated going to meals now. Snape was always there, and she could have sworn that whenever he looked at her, her face turned such a bright red it could have lit the Great Hall by itself. And of course, Fred and George noticed every single time.

Snape took pity on her, though, and didn't pay more attention to her than was necessary. She thought maybe she was called on a little more often in Potions than before, and occasionally she caught him watching her with a thoughtful gaze. But for the most part, life just continued.

One day, though, things went a little differently. Cassi sat down to dinner and found a folded paper flower at her place. Glancing around, she picked it up curiously and watched in awe as it magically unfolded in her hands. When it was a smooth piece of paper again, she could see a few short words written on it in a long, thin hand. It read, "At our place, when you're done". Cassi stared at it in dismay when she realized it wasn't signed. _Who would leave something like this?_ she thought. _And what does it mean?_

She looked around the room again, hoping a lightbulb would go off. No such luck. She sighed and began to think. She vaguely recognized the handwriting, but she couldn't think who might want to see her, beyond the people sitting at the table with her. _None of them would bother being cryptic._ As had become habit, Cassi glanced mechanically toward the teachers' table. Her eyes seemed to involuntarily flit to Snape at least eight times per meal (she knew because the twins told her so every time), and even with this new puzzle on her mind, she routinely glanced his way.

About ten minutes into the meal her fork clattered to her plate as she dropped her head into her hands. Her friends stopped talking and looked to her in surprise and concern, but Cassi didn't notice. She was too busy mentally kicking herself. _Cassi, you're so dumb sometimes. It was Snape that sent you the flower-note._ There was no doubt whatsoever in her mind as the pieces fell together. _Snape sent it, and he wants to meet me tonight at our place. By the Black Lake, where I kissed him._

Amazingly, the memory of the kiss didn't make her blush like it usually did. It made her tingle all over, though, which caused her to raise her head and notice the five people staring at her.

"Alright there, Whisper?" George spoke up. Cassi broke into a smile. "You know what, I think I am," she said. The twins traded glances, then Fred said dubiously, "If you say so." Cassi winked at him, then let her eyes drift back to Snape. "Trust me, I'm perfect," she said softly.

The next thing she knew, she was standing outside staring at the castle, shivering with the cold and wondering why she was alone. _Who else could it have been but Snape?_ she thought desperately. _And where else could he have meant but here?_ Deciding that she didn't want to meet the sender anyway if he wasn't Snape, she shuffled her feet in the dusky gloom of late evening and hoped he was just late.

She was in the middle of counting Hogwarts' towers for the third time when a pair of arms grabbed her from behind, one pinning her arms to her sides and the other muffling her scream to nothing more than a strangled whimper. For a moment Cassi was frozen in her panic. Then a deep, quiet voice murmured into her ear, "Did you miss me?" Incredulously, she looked up to try to see the mystery man's face and found her head resting on Severus Snape's shoulder. Cassi wilted with relief and would have fallen to the ground if Snape hadn't supported her.

"I didn't startle you too badly, did I?" he asked her teasingly, a triumphant smirk on his face. Cassi gave him a weak smile. "Well, I thought for a moment that you were a werewolf or something and I nearly had a heart attack, but you're not, so it's fine now." Snape's smirk faded to a gentle smile when Cassi added softly, "And I did miss you." He slipped an arm around her waist as they stood on the bank of the Lake, watching the stars appear.

Neither of them moved for a long time, except when Cassi began to shiver again from the cold and Snape forced her to wear his cloak. The silence of the night was peaceful and the soft glow emanating from the castle made the air seem warmer somehow. The longer they stood, though, the more troubled Cassi became. Something had been bothering her ever since Hermione first suggested that Snape had feelings for her, and now it wouldn't leave her alone. It haunted her all the time, and she couldn't resolve this by herself. But...she wasn't sure she ought to bring this up again...and yet she had to know. She kept her silence as long as she could, but finally she couldn't take it any more. In a voice cracking from disuse and distress, she asked softly, "Do you love me?"


	23. Confusion

Startled by the question, Snape looked down at her quickly and searched her profile. After a moment he replied quietly, "You know I do." Cassi's eyes began to water, and she fervently hoped she wouldn't break down. Keeping her gaze fixed on the castle, she asked the question that had been nagging her - "Why?"

Again, Snape was stunned. He turned her around by the shoulders, forcing her to look at him. "Why would you ask that?" he demanded. Was she accusing him of not really loving her, of just trying to get close to her for some sick, twisted motive? Seeing how close she was to tears, he tried to calm down. "Have I ever given you reason to doubt me?" he forced through gritted teeth. "Has anything I've said, anything I've done-"

"No!" Cassi gasped, eyes wide. He hadn't done anything wrong. The relationship was odd, yes, but she completely believed that he was invested. And he was right - she shouldn't ask that - but she needed to know what could possibly induce him to show any kind of affection for her. What could attract him strongly enough that he was willing to engage in such a strange relationship? Especially given his history with relationships? Cassi did not believe that she deserved to be the recipient of his affections, and she needed to know why he cared. That was the heart of the issue, the one she had to try to explain to him. "No...I've never doubted you. I didn't mean to blame anything on you."

"Then what did you mean," Snape said irritably. If anyone else had accused him so forwardly, then tried to brush it off under pretense of a misunderstanding, he wouldn't have been standing there still. His nature was to distrust people, and it had served him well before. But it was Cassandra...and despite his nature, he wanted so desperately to be wrong about this that he gave her a chance to explain.

She did not immediately take that chance. For a moment Cassi stood tottering on the brink of tears, then they all rushed out in one big burst as she buried her face in her hands and words began to pour out of her mouth like she'd been planning this for years.

"I mean that I'm not good enough for you," she sobbed. "And you don't believe me when I say it, but it's true. I'll never be good enough for you. You could have anyone in the world - anyone you wanted, if you truly wanted them. And you picked me, and I don't know why. I don't feel that I deserve you, and so I feel like you must not really know me, otherwise you wouldn't love me. I'm not good enough for you. So what could you possibly see in me," she sniffed, "that could even possibly tempt you to love me? I'm no one. I'm not smart, I'm not pretty, I'm not strong. What...what do you see?"

Snape's eyes had become increasingly narrowed as Cassi continued crying, and by the time she finished her explosion, they were downright dangerous. "Who told you these things?" he hissed. "Because not a single one is true." Cassi was shocked into relative silence as Snape began his own tirade. "Who told you you're not smart, or pretty, or strong? They lied. _You_ are a brilliant, beautiful, iron-willed girl, and those who say otherwise are the ones who don't truly know you. Who told you you weren't good enough for me? What makes you think I deserve a higher standard than anyone else? I deserve _nothing_. I deserve to be shunned and rejected. I don't deserve any of this...I certainly don't deserve you. No, you're the one that should have someone better. You deserve...you deserve more than an old, tired professor."

His words trailed off as he moved away from her to stare across the lake. Cassi followed him with her eyes, stunned by his ferocity. Did he really believe his own words, or was he making excuses...to himself and her? "But what's in this for you?" she blurted out before her brain had a chance to process and refine what she was going to say. She winced at her own words. _Perhaps that wasn't the way I meant that..._

Snape turned and simply looked at her, then said, "Explain." Cassi considered just leaving and going back inside to escape the whole situation. She looked down at the ground and took a shaky breath. "I just meant...surely, you've met people that you like better than me. I've only been here four years, you've met loads of other people long before I came here, and even assuming all that stuff you said earlier - which I don't - that still doesn't explain why you're willing to be with _me_ , and not someone else." She shot him a glance, wondering if this had made him mad again. He just looked tired as he watched her.

"You mean why I'm willing to be romantically attached to my student, who is 20 years my junior?" he asked bluntly. Wincing again, Cassi nodded mutely. Snape sighed quietly, keeping eye contact the whole time. Then he said, "First of all, I suppose part of me wants to defy everyone who says I'm incapable of human feeling. I know you don't think so, but the vast majority of students - and teachers, for that matter - fully believe that. I suppose they had almost gotten me to believe it too, and it's nice to know that they're wrong."

His words trailed off again, and he stood silently with his hands clasped behind his back. He turned to look back over the water. "And I suppose," he said quietly, "you provide me with something that I've been without for a very long time, something that I've missed immensely. Don't misunderstand, but you do remind me of Lily. You are not her, and you are not a replacement or a coping mechanism. However, it cannot be ignored that you make me feel as she did. I can share things with you that I haven't been able to share with anyone since Lily. You make the pain of her loss lessen, somehow, in your own mystical way. I've found that my life is pleasant with you in it, and that I miss you when you're not with me. It's been many long years since I became too old for obsessive crushes," he smiled, "but I do find comfort in your companionship, and I don't wish to lose you. I understand that you are young, and you are still changing and finding yourself. You will not always be who you are now. But you will always be you, and I am willing to risk loss in pursuit of a much larger gain." Still looking over the water, he fell into a contemplative silence. Cassi looked at him with eyes full of gratitude. She bit her lip, contemplating a daring move, then slowly stepped up behind him and slid her arms around him. Resting her cheek on his back, she said softly, "I will change, and to some extent you will too. But you're right, the gain is worth the risk. I appreciate your honesty, and your words, and I want you to know that I love you, Severus Snape."

At that, he broke away from her embrace so he could take her in his arms. Cassi buried her face in his chest, feeling protected and loved for the first time in her life. Snape buried his face in her hair, feeling needed and loved for the first time in his life. They stood like that for a minute, then Cassi raised her face to look at him. He returned her gaze, then slowly bent down to brush her lips with his. The kiss was slow, gentle, but indescribably sweet. All the blood in Cassi's body rushed to her head, and for one dizzy moment she wondered if one could pass out from being too happy. When Snape broke away she decided it must be impossible, because no one in the world could be happier than she was, and somehow she was still conscious.

Snape's mind, however, was in a less pleasant state as he kissed the girl he loved. The thought had crossed his mind earlier that he wouldn't rather be with anyone else if the world were to end, but then without warning, an image of Lily appeared in front of his eyes. _What about her, Snape?_ he asked himself. _Don't you love her, too? Or have you abandoned her now for this new girl? Yes, Lily told you to move on. But really, can you? Can you forego Lily in pursuit of this different person? You can't have both; you're offering Lily's place to Cassi. You're making a mistake.  
_

He broke away from Cassi a bit more abruptly than he had intended to. Suddenly he just wanted to be alone with his thoughts and memories and feelings. Later he couldn't remember how he got from the Lake to his chambers, but he had a vague feeling that he may have been rather harsh, and he had the distinct impression of Cassi being surprised and a little hurt by his mood swing. He didn't care as much as he should have as he shut and locked the door behind him; but then, Severus Snape was never too good with emotions. And now, two futures would be dictated by his emotions.

Snape refused to completely forget Lily Evans. But it was equally impossible to move on from Cassandra Renner. Both were now irreplaceable parts of his heart, and he was certain that without either of them,life would not be worth living. So somehow, Lily and Cassandra had to coexist peacefully. And how could that ever be when they were vying for the same place in his heart?

It seemed as though even in his happiness, Severus Snape was destined for misery and heart-rending decisions. _It's just not fair._


	24. In Which Time Passes

Time passed. Days flew by, then weeks, and soon months. They all passed in a dizzying blur, leaving Cassi trying to catch up without losing her grip on sanity. After that night, when she asked Snape if he loved her, he had not spoken to her alone again. Didn't really speak to her at all, for that matter. She had no idea what was happening.

Time passed. Classes carried on as usual, with the exception of Potions, which was now an exceedingly uncomfortable period. Luckily, what with Seamus Finnigan beside her, there was always something to distract her from the lurking shadow that refused to meet her gaze. Fred and George noticed the sudden lack of DADA tutoring, because suddenly Cassi discovered (or invented) a passion for Quidditch and was constantly dragging them to the pitch to practice with her. They never commented, though, preferring to give her life some stability and work on getting her to laugh again. She tried to pretend everything was fine, but her smiles never lit up her eyes like they used to and she suddenly needed to always be doing something. Fred was so certain of Snape's affection for Cassi that the idea of relationship problems never crossed his mind, but George had his suspicions. Nothing, however, would have induced him to voice them. Asking about it would just hurt her more, and he couldn't bring himself to pain her.

Time passed. The Triwizard Tournament ended with Cedric Diggory being killed, something that cut every student to the heart with pity and fear. If Cedric was really dead, was You-Know-Who really back? And if You-Know-Who was really back, how long would any of them last? It was a chilling thought, one that caused Cassi to worry about Harry almost as much as she worried about anything else. One good thing that came out of this whole fiasco was that Harry had won the thousand-Galleon prize money, and when Fred and George came barging into the common room to find her with a huge bag of a lot of suspiciously round, flat, and clinking somethings, she hardly had to wonder where it came from or what it would be used for.

Time passed. Eventually it was the last week of school, and Cassi finally decided to put an end to this. She had spent the last few months in a frenzy, trying to forget about her problems with Snape, but it hadn't helped. Her wounds were as fresh as ever, and ignoring them would never help them heal without leaving a painful scar. So instead of changing the subject every time she thought of him, she decided that she needed to tell herself that he didn't love her, that it was hopeless, and that he was in love with someone else. Clearly that was the case; there was no other explanation for his actions. At first it still hurt, but it was a dull ache instead of a sharp, stinging pain. And as time went on and she continued her remedy, the ache lessened until she had almost actually accepted the fact that Snape had moved on. Then, she began to really honestly forget about him. After all, there were more important and more life-threatening things to worry about - like spending the summer with Fred and George. All summer. She couldn't wait.

Before she knew it, she was getting off the Hogwarts Express with the twins and hurrying over to where Mr. and Mrs. Weasley stood waving excitedly. "Oh, there you are, dears, we were afraid we had missed you," exclaimed Mrs. Weasley as she enveloped Cassi in a huge hug, which Cassi happily returned. "Yes, although I shouldn't have worried about you three finding your way somehow - now that the twins can Apparate, and you've been living in the Muggle world, you probably know how to drive, hm?" Mr. Weasley added, casting an inquisitive look at Cassi. She nodded with a faint smile. "Yes, sir, although I haven't passed a drivers' exam yet-"

"Oh, don't bother with the 'sir'. Arthur will do." Cassi was about to protest, but he cut her off with a raised hand. "Please. You're my sons' best friend, and probably who I have to thank for them getting into less and less trouble each year." He winked as Mrs. Weasley gave the twins a glare in the background, though the scowl soon faded to a loving look as she reached up to give each one a peck on the cheek. The second she turned back to Cassi, Fred and George immediately swiped at their faces.

"Yes, and you must call me Molly," Mrs. Weasley piped up, "although if you happen to call me Mum, I'm sure I'll forgive you." She sent Cassi a soft smile before turning toward the barrier which led to the Muggle world. The twins took their places on either side of Cassi, George on the right and Fred on her left. She looked up at them, all three of them grinning like idiots, knowing that she had pretty much just been adopted into the family. Fred and George each held out an arm, and linking her elbows through theirs, the Silver Trio began to walk toward where the rest of the Weasleys - her family in all but blood - were waiting for them.

As they prepared to Apparate to the Burrow, Cassi spared a glance behind her toward the Hogwarts Express. It would be waiting for her here on September 1, ready to convey her back to school and her friends...and Snape. But she would take that leap when she had to, and until then, she would enjoy every second of being with the twins. She wouldn't worry about school or her friends or Snape. She turned away from the train and didn't look back.


	25. The Burrow

Once they arrived at the Burrow, there was an exciting ten minutes or so of six kids scrambling around, trying to sort out whose trunks and pet cages were whose. A little Apparating mishap had caused all the luggage to land in a jumbled heap in the middle of the Weasleys' dining room floor. Amidst the din, Fred's voice rose above the others - "Well don't blame us! That's the first time, we're not supposed to be perfect, and nobody got Splinched so I'd say we're doing pretty good!" "But don't worry, we'll practice hard and by the end of summer, we'll be pros!" George added with a smirk. Cassi got the distinct impression that there would be a little too much "practicing" going on in the next few months.

Knowing that the easiest and safest way to retrieve her trunk was to wait until hers was the only one left, Cassi walked over to the window to try and get a glimpse of the surroundings. She instantly fell in love. A garden stretched out a little ways near the back door, and just beyond that lay a broomshed and a large grassy space, evidently set aside for Quidditch. Beyond that Cassi could see the beginnings of a woods and, beside that, an expanse of fields the stretched as far as she could see. In short, it was quiet, pretty, and cozy, and Cassi loved it. She wished she'd come three years ago.

Eventually the craziness behind her calmed down, and she turned to see that only she, the twins, and Mrs. Weasley were still here. Mrs. Weasley had begun to whisk around the adjoining kitchen, occasionally popping back into the dining room to place dishes on the table or hunt down the teapot, which had somehow been set in the china cabinet. Cassi walked over to the small, unadorned trunk sitting alone in the middle of the floor (looking rather forlorn), picked it up, then straightened to wait for someone to tell her where to go next. The twins were preparing to say something when Mrs. Weasley happened to bustle by and remarked, "Oh, dear, you didn't have to worry about packing light - we'll have plenty of room for as much as you should care to take with us this time, and what a pleasant change that will be, I must say!"

Cassi didn't see any need to point out that she didn't even own anything more that she could have packed, so instead she focused on the other part of Mrs. Weasley's observation. "Are we going somewhere, Mrs. Weas- I mean, Molly?" Cassi couldn't remember anything being mentioned about not staying at the Burrow. At the question, Mrs. Weasley rounded on the twins, hands on her hips. "You told me you were going to tell her!" she cried in exasperation. George replied, "We wanted it to be a surprise." Fred turned to Cassi and hollered, "SURPRISE!" Cassi snorted. They'd forgotten. She didn't mind, as long as they'd tell her now. Mrs. Weasley sighed and turned back to the plates she was setting out.

Eventually she answered the question. "Yes, dear, we're going somewhere else for the summer." She turned to Cassi, and her eyes were serious. "It's a very secret place, and I can't tell you much about it right now. But once we've arrived and settled in, I will do my best to answer all your questions." Cassi nodded in understanding, not the least bit worried. She knew she could trust them. Mrs. Weasley gave a small sigh of relief as she went back into the kitchen, probably expecting an argument over her not-answer. Fred looked as though he was going to say something again, but again he was interrupted by Mrs. Weasley's voice floating in from the kitchen. "Now, don't bother unpacking, because we'll be leaving directly after lunch, but I want those trunks out of my dining room." She continued to mutter to herself, but Cassi heard none of it as George took the trunk from her and Fred grabbed her hand, and the three of them made their way upstairs.

Even if the twins hadn't been guiding her, she would've known exactly which room was theirs. The door was closed and bolted, but scorch marks were visible in the carpet even reaching into the hall. The door opened, and the carpet inside had apparently been too damaged to stay, because it had been pulled up to reveal scratched and worn wood planks. The walls fared no better - they had probably once been dark green, but the white drywall was visible where the paint had been blasted away, and stains of all colors adorned everything, including the rumpled bedspreads on the two narrow beds that were pushed up against opposite walls. The floor, the walls, the ceiling, the door were all victims to violent explosions from failed experiments (or successful experiments, who knows), and the whole room was battered and bruised, but still standing.

Yep. Definitely the twins' room.

Cassi was so busy taking in the room that she was surprised to look down and see the twins kneeling around the head of one of the beds. Curious, she peered over their shoulders to see that one of the planks was raised on hidden hinges to reveal a little space between the rafters of the ceiling of the floor below. It was lined with thick, soft fabric, probably to help insulate against noise, and inside lying on the cloth were the twins' most prized possessions - their first functioning trick wand, a letter from Lee Jordan detailing how to create a certain concoction, a sketchbook that was bound up with a piece of twine to keep it from falling apart, and other such treasures. Now, reverently, George pulled a bag from his trunk that Cassi knew held very nearly a thousand Galleons. The bag was laid carefully in the small cavity, then the plank was put back into place and all traces of the hiding spot were covered.

The twins stood, and George gave Cassi a playfully serious glare. "Consider yourself sworn to secrecy," he said solemnly. "You keep our secret, we'll keep yours." She nodded in agreement, and they all shared a smile. Setting their trunks by the door, they left to rejoin the rest of the family.


	26. Torn Apart

The meal was soon over, as everyone was excited to be off. Cassi and Hermione were helping Mrs. Weasley to clear the dishes - or rather, the girls cleared the dishes while Mrs. Weasley berated the others for just sitting around. "We've got people expecting us and if you all wait for me to get everything done we won't be there before next Friday, and that's for certain!" she exclaimed finally. In response Fred lazily stood and said, "Sure thing, Mum. I'll go grab our trunks-" And with a loud _crack_ that made everyone but George jump, he Apparated away. Mrs. Weasley huffed and gave the others a glare before carrying the soup cauldron into the kitchen and scrubbing it viciously. Half a minute later he returned empty-handed with a second _crack_ , saying just a little too casually, "Hey, Georgie, give me a hand with these, will you?" He disappeared again, leaving George to stand slowly and then follow with yet another resounding _crack_. Upon their return, they managed to time their reappearances so that just when you've got over the initial fright of the first ear-splitting sound, a second one comes and scares you even worse than before. Mrs. Weasley restrained her annoyance, though, and contented herself with muttering to the inside of the cauldron.

Eventually all trunks were accounted for (although the twins kept thinking of things they might want to pack and Apparating away to fetch it, even though Cassi knew they had packed absolutely everything in their room the first time), the dishes were cleared, and all was in order. "Well, the last time we tried this it didn't work out so well," said Mr. Weasley as Ginny shot Fred and George a look, "so we'll do this a bit differently. Ron, Ginny, grab your trunks and come over this way-" they obliged "-and then Hermione and Cassi, you stand by Molly there. Fred and George, you're on your own. Stand over there by the table." Once everyone had done as Mr. Weasley directed, he continued. "Ok, Ron will you hold my trunk please, that's it, alright, now I'll keep hold of your wrists, and Molly, you'll do the same for the girls, hm? Everybody situated? Right then, let's go-"

Just then something unexpected happened. The front door of the Burrow opened, and in strode Percy Weasley. Mrs. Weasley shrieked and dropped Hermione's and Cassi's wrists, running over to hug him fiercely. "Oh, Percy, you managed to get off work! Will you be coming with us, then? We're staying at the Headquarters, you know, well, anyway, how much time do you have off? Dear, it's wonderful to see you again!"

Percy dutifully returned his mother's hug, then disentangled himself. "Actually, Mum, I didn't get time off. I'm just on break for a few hours. I was granted leave to come home and tell you the good news!" He paused for dramatic effect, beaming proudly around the room. Mrs. Weasley burst out, "Well, what is it? Don't keep us all in suspense, for goodness' sake, tell us what's happened!"

Percy cast one last triumphant glance at everybody present, then announced proudly, "I've been promoted to Minister Fudge's cabinet!"

Deathly silence fell over the room

Cassi looked uncomfortably from the smug Percy to his stunned father. She didn't know exactly what was going on, but she did know that Mr. Weasley had never exactly been on the Ministry's best side, mostly because he was a "blood-traitor", so Mr. Malfoy did his best to encourage everyone to hold the Weasleys at arm's length. She also knew that the Weasleys full-heartedly believed Harry's account of You-Know-Who's return, while the Ministry in general (and Fudge in particular) refused to even consider the possibility of such an event. For Percy to now be working in Fudge's office..."Why would he do that?" Mr. Weasley blurted. At Percy's angered expression, he hastily amended his query. "I mean...you're a hard worker and loyal subordinate, no doubt about that, but after Crouch...why would the Ministry promote you?"

"Well maybe they're trying to prove that trustworthy people can come even from a family of deluded half-wits who believe everything they hear," snapped Percy hotly. Mrs. Weasley and Hermione gasped, the Weasley men grew angry, and Ginny and Cassi glanced at each other. "Now wait just a minute, here-" began Mr. Weasley, but he was cut off suddenly by his very irate son. Percy let out a tremendous rant, which sounded as though he had been planning it for a long time.

"No, _you_ wait!" he nearly yelled. " _You_ stop and think about what this means! I've finally gotten this promotion, which I've been aiming for ever since I graduated, and you ask how on earth I got it! Well, I'll tell you how! Through incredibly difficult, time-consuming, sometimes even dangerous work, unshakeable loyalty, and a head for what's right and what isn't, I've finally managed to distance myself from your lousy reputation! Finally, the Ministry can see me as _me_ , instead of "Arthur Weasley's son"! And look where it got me, Dad! Your - your reputation for being a blood-traitor and a _Muggle-lover_ have been ruining my chances for a decent future my whole life. Well, not anymore. I've taken pains to assure the Ministry that I in no way share your beliefs or your _instabilities_. I'm my own man now, and I've already made more progress than you can ever hope to!"

At that moment Cassi abruptly turned and left the kitchen. She didn't need to listen to the Weasleys' private affairs, and she certainly didn't want to be around when Mr. Weasley began yelling back. As soon as she was out of sight, she began running. She ran through the living room, out the back door, and across the lawn. Past the broomshed, around the garden, into the first of the many fields surrounding the Burrow. She finally stopped when the house was almost too small to distinguish from the trees nearby. A second later, she noticed that Hermione had followed. Her friend fell to her knees and covered her face, shoulders shaking. Cassi knelt beside her and put a comforting arm around her. Neither of them spoke for a while.

Soon Hermione stopped sobbing and the girls sat staring back at the house, thinking of the horrible things that were most likely being said and feeling indescribable pain for those who had to experience such a breaking of a family. Cassi knew a little of how it felt - her parents being killed, her closest relative hating her, Snape refusing to talk to her. The only people who had ever been constantly there when Cassi needed them had been Fred and George. Now they were the ones who needed her. She realized how silly her own troubles were in light of what her friends were going through now, and she glanced back at the house in worry. _I hope everything will be alright._


	27. Headquarters

The girls stayed outside for nearly an hour, sitting in the field without speaking. Neither wanted to talk about the Weasleys, but neither could think about anything else. Finally Cassi saw George walking toward them, hands shoved in his pockets and staring at the ground. Wordlessly she stood and began to move toward him. Leaving Hermione sitting by herself, Cassi met George halfway.

They stopped moving when they were about five feet apart. For a moment all was silent, then George shifted and scuffed his shoe on a rock. "So...we're nearly ready to leave, I think," he said quietly without looking up from the ground. Cassi nodded, then replied just as softly, "I'm ready too, I'll let Hermione know." She slowly backed away, searching George's face to gauge his emotions, then turned and began to walk back to Hermione.

She relayed the message as lightly as she could, but she still saw Hermione's lip tremble when she mentioned it. Hermione nodded, and Cassi helped her up. Together they walked back to where George was waiting, then all three of them started toward the house. Though his face betrayed nothing, Cassi could have sworn she heard George sniffle every now and then. Her heart broke as she tried to imagine the pain and anger all the Weasleys must be feeling, particularly the twins.

A melancholy group it was that assembled in the kitchen at the Burrow. There had clearly not been a satisfactory reconciliation. Mr. Weasley's eyes had lost the irate fire that they had held earlier, now revealing a sadness and a hurt that Cassi knew was so far beyond emotion that it was physical pain, too. Mrs. Weasley looked frightened and broken, no longer the independent, bustling woman everyone loved. Fred sported a bloody fist, and Cassi's heart broke just a little bit more at the hurt and confused expression on his face that must have been hiding under his facade of anger and violence earlier. George was the most composed of the lot of them - the only emotion he showed was in the depths of his eyes, which were cloudy and brooding. Ron looked torn between the desire for peace in his family and the urge to punch something, but with his primary target no longer around, he was beginning to realize how serious a blow this was to the family as a whole. Ginny was downright furious, though she was restraining herself admirably, and Cassi knew that she had been the least attached of the Weasleys to her brother, so she naturally showed the least regret for his loss. Hermione was still struggling to keep a firm hand on her tears, knowing that sympathy at just this moment would only escalate tension and anger, and do little to alleviate the pain.

And what did Cassi feel? She didn't know perfectly well herself; she knew she hurt for the people affected by this rift, but she also knew that her feelings would change nothing, so why bother crying over spilled milk? The old Muggle saying came to mind, and she knew now more than ever how true it was. So many chances she had had recently to test its veracity - Harry's name being chosen for the Tri-Wizard Tournament, Snape refusing to see her, and now this. She held tightly to Mrs. Weasley's trembling arm as she berated life for being so cruel to those who deserved nothing but the best.

Mr. Weasley mechanically checked to make sure everyone was where they needed to be for their trip to...wherever they were going, then gave a quiet signal. The world spun, dissolving the Burrow into photons and rearranging them into a place Cassi had never seen. They were standing in a good-sized room with two large windows whose curtains had been drawn, causing a dusky gloom to lay thickly over the whole place. After a moment Cassi could make out the outlines of a multitude of chairs and a long table nearly stretching the length of the room, and she deduced that they were standing in the dining room of a large, richly-furnished house. But the lack of lighting and the events of earlier seemed to dim the attributes of the place, as each member of the Weasley family began to fall away, exiting quietly through the heavy double doors before them. Eventually only Cassi, Hermione, and Ginny were left. Then Ginny broke the silence by reaching for her trunk and saying quietly, "I'll show you our room, Hermione." Slowly the two of them left, abandoning Cassi to the darkness of this strange place. She pulled out one of the chairs and sat on its edge, not trusting herself to go wandering about trying to find the twins. They probably didn't want to see her anyway.

She was only alone for a few minutes, though - soon the heavy doors swung open again, this time boldly and impatiently. A dim outline paused in the doorway, and Cassi could tell it was a tall, slim figure, and it was peering into the darkness and looking for something. She thought of standing and saying something, but for the moment she was rather frightened of talking to a stranger when so many strange things were already happening.

"I know I heard something in here; Kreacher, is that you?" came a man's voice. He sounded rather exasperated, and Cassi thought it best not to try his patience by pretending not to exist. "Excuse me, sir, I'm in here," she volunteered as she stood quietly. The man in the doorway quickly began to move toward the covered windows, but was forced to slow his pace as his foot connected with a heavy and very solid object. Stifling a low curse, he eventually gained the windows and flung open the curtains, chasing off the dim blue haze with bright sunlight. Cassi blinked for a moment, curiosity wanting to see who the man was but her dazzled eyes making her slow down. As she became accustomed to the light, she was surprised at what she saw.

As she already knew, the man was tall and thin. He wore a brown coat and waistcoat, which perfectly matched his long wavy hair. His face was long and pale and looked as though the last few years had aged him more rapidly than they should have. But it held the mark of nobility - a regal face, with strong lines and a lofty glance. He had dark brown eyes that had once been mischievous and full of life, but now a tired and confined look had covered up all but a tiny sparkle of light that lay in wait for the perfect moment to spring out and play some joke on an unsuspecting passer-by. Cassi was reminded of the twins.

"And who are you, who seems to be enjoying the use of my kitchen?" he queried, a light note and a wary undercurrent to his tone. She rushed to resolve his supicions. "Excuse me, sir, my name is Cassandra Renner. I'm here with the Weasleys." At that, the man's eyes lit up a bit. "They're here, then? Well, it's about time, too! I was expecting them at two, and here they are showing up at a quarter to four! I've half a mind to find Arthur and ask what the blazes held them up so long - Moody was nearly ready to send out a search party, and-"

"Oh, please, sir, that would be a very bad idea right now," interrupted Cassi in alarm. The man looked at her curiously. She knew she sounded rude, but the Weasleys were not to be disturbed right now. That was the least Cassi could do for them. "I'm sorry, sir, I didn't mean to interrupt...it's just that the Weasleys are rather indisposed to talk to anyone right now, I think."

"But they'll talk to me, I've known Arthur and Molly for ages," the man said confidently as he turned and strode toward the door. "If you'd just be so kind as to tell me where Arthur is-"

"No!" The man paused, then slowly turned to look at Cassi, who had jumped up, darted toward him, and grabbed his arm without realizing it. She blushed faintly and let go of his arm, but said emphatically, "I think I can safely promise you that no matter how long you've known Mr. and Mrs. Weasley, at the moment they don't want to talk to you." Her words and expression finally seemed to sink in, and the man's eyes grew worried. "Is someone hurt?" he asked, now grabbing her arm. "Are they alright? What's going on?"

Cassi knew it wasn't her place to go around telling people about others' private problems, but she also knew that she had to keep this man from interrupting her friends right now. "Family problems," she said simply. The man watched her face intently for a moment, muttered to himself under his breath and let go of her arm. "Well. Family problems are certainly ones I've had enough of in my time, so I suppose I really don't need to go around getting into other people's, too." He moved away from her a little bit, looking at a picture frame that was empty. Cassi wondered what had once been in it to make the stranger glare like that.

Soon the man seemed to catch himself brooding, because he turned to her and assumed a more pleasant expression. "Well then, since you seem to be the only one here who will talk to me," he said with mock bitterness, "allow me to introduce myself. Sirius Black, at your service, Miss Cassandra Renner." Sirius Black...Harry's godfather, she knew, and falsely accused of the murder of thirteen Muggles. Sent to Azkaban for 14 years, recently escaped. "It's an honor to meet you, sir, Harry's told me a lot about you." She held out her hand to shake, and was surprised into a small laugh when he took it and bowed low over it. Gently brushing a kiss to her knuckles, he released her hand with a flourish. "Don't call me 'sir' - makes me feel old. Sirius will do; or 'Mr. Black', I suppose, if you insist." She responded in kind. "Then you've got to call me Cassi, I hardly remember to answer to my full name."

Sirius gave her a smile, which she thought made him look years younger, and replied, "Well then, Cassi, let me show you around my humble abode. Welcome to Grimmauld Place." He held open the dining room door and bowed as she smiled at his antics and walked through, ready to discover this new world she'd been thrown into. If Sirius was any indication, she thought she'd like this place very much.


	28. Familiar Faces

She was right. Grimmauld Place was amazing.

Cassi couldn't help but gape at everything around her, from the cobwebbed chandeliers to the rich carpets to the elegant furniture. Obviously, the Black family had not been lacking in money, though maybe in servants, given the condition of the place. Everything was in as good of a condition as could be expected from a once-lavish mansion that had been left neglected for several decades. Some rooms and corridors were blocked off entirely; Sirius told her that they'd been working on making the place fit for human habitation again.

"Wait, 'we'? Who else is here?" asked Cassi eagerly. Newly liberated from her horrible guardian, she wanted to see as many people as she could. Sirius smiled a little at her enthusiasm. He opened his mouth to reply, but an amused voice from behind them cut him off.

"No one you'd recognize, I'm sure." But Cassi recognized the voice and whirled around. Leaning against the doorframe was a smiling Remus Lupin, the same tall, scarred professor Cassi remembered fondly from last year. She smiled hugely and crushed him in a hug. He chuckled and hugged her back.

"Thought you'd gotten rid of me, didn't you?" he said teasingly. Cassi was about to reply when someone else came through the doorway. Cassi stepped back to see someone else she recognized. "Professor Moody!" she greeted him happily. Unlike most of the students, Cassi had liked Moody's style of teaching. It was informative and never boring, which made it perfect for right after Divination.

The grizzled one-legged Auror gave a grunt in return. "What, Lupin gets a hug and I don't?" he demanded gruffly, but with a twinkle in his one good eye. Cassi raised an eyebrow and opened her arms to him. She could hear Sirius behind her stifle a snicker, but she managed to maintain a straight face as Moody tried to figure out how to respond to that. Obviously not actually expecting a hug, he finally managed to mumble, "Ah, you don't want to do that, I bite." The other three laughed at him as Cassi gave him a quick hug anyway.

Moody and Remus each went their ways, and Sirius led Cassi into a small library, where a stranger sat at a writing table scribbling furiously at a scrap of parchment. It was a young woman, probably in her late twenties, and she looked completely normal - short, slender, and pretty - except for her hair, which was a dark green. She seemed so intent on her work that she didn't hear Sirius and Cassi come in. Sirius cleared his throat - nothing. So Sirius caught Cassi's eye, winked and said quietly, "Remus."

The effect was instantaneous. The woman's head snapped up and she dropped her quill, pushing back her chair at the same time and making the table rock dangerously. Sirius began to laugh, and she realized he had played some kind of prank on the poor lady (Cassi didn't understand, but smiled anyway). The woman's hair turned bright pink, and Cassi realized with a start that she was a Metamorphmagus.

"Sirius!" the woman said exasperatedly. "You know not to sneak up on me!" Her mouth quirked into a half-smile, trying hard to stay angry at the man chuckling in front of her. He shoved his hands in his pockets casually. "True, true...you're unstable enough even when you're paying attention. Merlin forbid I should ever cause the end of the human race, just because you can't stay on your own two feet..." He ducked to avoid the book she sent flying toward his head. Then the two of them smiled at each other, and Sirius turned to Cassi.

"Cassi, this is Nympha...ah, Tonks," he amended rather nervously after receiving a death glare from the diminutive Metamorphmagus. "Tonks, this is Cassandra Renner. She came with the Weasleys and will be staying here too." Tonks stepped forward to shake Cassi's hand, her hand warm and her hazel eyes sparkling. Sirius then grabbed Cassi's arm and led her away from the library. In a quiet voice he explained, "Tonks is a bit younger than us, but she's always had a thing for Remus. It's not fair to tease, but it's just so easy. She's a lovely woman, just a bit of a klutz...and when I say 'a bit'..."

Throughout the course of the day, she met quite a few more people - Kingsley Shacklebolt and Mundungus Fletcher, among others. Eventually, though, she was tired and ready to paide and continue her adventures tomorrow. She somehow managed to end up in a room with the twins, who were already snoring away when she entered at ten o'clock. She smiled gently at their sleeping forms, happy they were getting an escape from the nightmares of the day, and began to ready herself for sleep. Little did she know that tomorrow, the real adventure would begin.


	29. It's Always Me

Over the next month, Cassi learned a lot about the Order of the Phoenix. She was given a brief history of the previous Order, which had been disbanded for some time, and could name a few of the primary members. She knew that there were Order members all over the Ministry, even in the Minister's cabinet, among whom Kingsley was one of the best and most important. She was told that Harry was to know nothing of any of this, which upset her because she knew it would upset him, but she swore herself to secrecy along with the other teens.

She also learned, after a particularly traumatizing incident the day after she and the Weasleys arrived at Grimmauld, that one Severus Snape was also a member of the Order and would therefore be present for many of the Order's meetings. The best part? Oftentimes, Order members would stay after meetings for a home-cooked meal, mingling with the other occupants of the house who were not Order members. _What a lovely turn of events._

Actually, Cassi couldn't decide if she meant that or not, because part of her wanted nothing more than to just move on and be normal for once - and falling in love with your professor did not fall under the category of 'normal' - but another part was cautiously hopeful that things would still work out, that things maybe weren't exactly what they seemed, that he might even still love her. What does one do in a situation like that?

The first time he arrived at Number 12, Grimmauld Place, he was wearing his usual sarcastic facade - being both irritating and irritated - blissfully unaware that one of the many banes of his existence was about to turn the corner ahead and crash into him. Each of them was striding a little too purposefully and confidently down their respective corridors, and then the inevitable collision happened, leaving Snape as speechless as he'd ever been. _Her? Here, of all places?_ Just his luck, of course. Trying to shake off his surprise without letting anyone know that he'd been surprised, he gave her a sort of sneer and stalked past a crestfallen Cassi. It was quite obvious that he had no wish to repair their relationship. After retreating to spend a few hours in a small study on the third floor, she had composed herself enough to look herself in the eye and say, "You love him but he does not love you, so be content with having his acquaintance. He is a hero, and he deserves your respect and gratitude for his sacrifices." And for once, she could actually content herself with that. That night Snape did not stay for dinner.

The second time he came, he was prepared. Jumping every time someone new walked into the room, many people wondered what was going on with Snape. Cassi didn't wonder; she was prepared as well. Still, the way he avoided her like the plague stung a bit. But she wanted to show him that she had accepted his rejection, so she made sure not to avoid him. Whenever their eyes accidentally met, she made sure to respond to Snape's cold gaze with a small smile. That seemed to catch him off guard, and he would glance sharply at something else. That made her bandaged heart crack a little more each time, but she refused to give up.

She was rewarded for her efforts, though, on the third instance of their meeting. He was more subdued in his sneers and derogatory comments, and when he first came in he even nodded cordially to her! He still refused to hold conversation with Cassi, but she was so proud of his improvement she nearly gave him a hug.

The reason that Snape was being less frigid was this: He was starting to doubt himself. It had been easy to simply continue existing when he was not forced to experience her presence, but from the moment he saw her again, he began to remember why he had gotten involved in the first place. Was he really right to try to leave Cassi behind? Should he still try to be friends, at least? Was there any hope of his recovering in the end, or would he love Cassi forever as he did Lily? Or maybe, was his love for Cassi _stronger_ than his love for Lily, and they were destined to be together? He had no answers, and so, he began to doubt.

Snape hadn't planned on being anything but distant to Cassi, but he found himself responding to her smiles. He found that he wanted to smile back; he refused to let himself. However, every now and then a kind gesture would slip out - a nod here, holding the door for her there - and before he knew it, he wanted to actually talk to her again! This privilege was also withheld. He wouldn't take that risk, the risk of saying things he didn't want to say or hearing things he didn't want to hear. So he decided to take the easy way out - wait and see whether it falls together or apart. Wait on Fate, and see if it has anything to give in return.

Snape forgot that Fate has a rather cruel sense of humor.


	30. I Need a Hero

Snape was startled out of sleep at 2 o'clock in the morning, four days after his most recent visit to Grimmauld, by a messenger Patronus. A silvery lynx stood in the middle of the small room, staring intently at him, then suddenly a voice Snape recognized boomed throughout the house at Spinners End. "You're required immediately at Headquarters; emergency meeting. A possible information leak has arisen." As the misty animal was still dissolving, Snape had already crossed the room and begun collecting the items he'd need if they decided to hunt down and interrogate someone. Six and a half minutes later he was seated with the rest of the Order in Black's dining room. Everyone looked tense, but especially the Weasleys, Black, and Lupin, who had just stood from his chair tiredly. His face was very pale, causing his scars to stand out and casting another layer of solemnity over the whole affair. The scattered whisperings went silent as Lupin cleared his throat to address the gathering.

"I'm afraid we've got a bit of a dilemma on our hands, one which will take some consideration and forethought," he began. "As you all know, we're facing a potential information leak. We don't know many details of this situation, only the big picture, but that's certainly dire enough. All we know is that at around eleven last night, one of us was kidnapped and is now being held prisoner, we suspect at the home of a Death Eater." Lupin paused briefly, and Snape's eyes darted around the room to see who was missing. Ah...Mundungus Fletcher. He cursed inwardly - the coward would spill all their secrets in the blink of an eye. Even under a secrecy spell, he would probably find some way to foil the Order. From the other side of the room, a worried Tonks asked, "Who's missing, Remus?" Snape sneered across the room in her direction - Hufflepuffs. Never a lick of brains. Couldn't she look around and figure it out herself?

Lupin took a deep breath, stared at the table, then looked up and said quietly, "Cassi Renner."

The room went perfectly still. Snape was openly staring at Lupin, who was looking at Tonks with despair and pain in his eyes. Tonks wore an expression of horror to match Sirius', although he was quite obviously furious too. Many of the other Order members had expressions of anger - they had gotten to know Cassi over the past weeks, and not a single one disliked her. The room was dead still as everyone processed what had occurred - and what its implications were.

Everyone was startled out of the silence when Snape stood suddenly, a look of pure hatred on his face. He whirled around and began to stride to the door when Lupin asked tiredly, "Snape, what in the name of Merlin are you doing?" Without missing a step, Snape snarled back, "I'm getting her."

Lupin and Black exchanged glances, then Black darted up and blocked Snape's path. In return he received what was probably the most dangerous glare he had ever seen in his life, but he didn't back down. "Snape, we all know you like to have your own way. But not this time." At that, Snape whipped out his wand and pointed it at Black's neck. Sirius was ready for him. "Don't threaten me," he growled, "you'll regret it later." Their wands crossed, Snape ground out, " _You_ can't stop me, Black, I'll kill you if you try. I won't leave her to be tortured and killed, I won't desert her when she is in danger."

To Snape's surprise, Sirius lowered his wand with a satisfied look. "That's what I want to hear," he said approvingly. "Now, you're going to need help, Snape, I don't care how sneaky you are. This is a Death Eater's home we're talking about. You need reinforcements," he added, a grim note to his voice, "and I'm going to get her, with or without you. So we might as well work together on this."

Snape considered for a moment, then he nodded tersely. "I'm leaving now," was all he said before another voice spoke up. "I'm coming too," said Lupin, who had come up behind them. The three of them looked at each other, silently daring the others to say anything. The room was silent, all knowing that any of them might never come back from this mission. All of them thought it was worth it. Lupin knew he could never live with himself if he didn't try to do something. Black missed the sunshine that flooded through his rotten old thrice-cursed house whenever Cassi was around and was furious anyone would touch her. And Snape was also furious, and also missed her sunshine, and would also hate himself if he abandoned her. But he had another reason too.

If all went well - if they managed to rescue her, if he made it out alive, if _she_ made it out alive - he was going to love her and never leave her again. And that was a promise.

* * *

Four hours later, Cassi was just starting to wake up from the narcotic she had fallen victim to. She was tied securely to a chair sitting in a cold, empty, dark dungeon. Her head was fuzzy, she couldn't concentrate on anything...she vaguely noticed that her hands wouldn't move, and she thought to use a wandless spell to free herself, but she couldn't quite remember the word she wanted. Over and over she tried to think of what to say, and it was hovering right there, just far enough out of reach that she could never hope to capture it. The drug, whatever it was, was still heavy in her bloodstream when footsteps announced the arrival of her captor.

"Ah, starting to wake, are we?" asked a fuzzily familiar voice. The name was right there...so close...frustrated by her lack of control over herself, she tried to thrash feebly. She stopped, though, when she felt something cold and hard press down on her neck. Even with her blurry vision, she could see that it was a cane with an ornate silver head. Still, the name didn't click until its owner walked into view. "Now now, my dear, we mustn't neglect our manners," said Lucius Malfoy with a condescending sneer. Cassi tried her best to glare at him, but felt that it wasn't nearly as intimidating as she had hoped. Malfoy's thin lips curled into a smirk as he bent down to whisper into her ear.

"Now listen carefully, my dear, because I don't like to repeat myself - I don't want much from you. Just a little bit of information. My Draco tells me that you have become...quite good friends with our dear Potions master, and that you know him better than most of his students. One can only wonder why he chose you as his toy-" Cassi shot him an indignant glare "-certainly you are pretty, and he could easily use you to make others envious. However, even if he was just using you for his own purposes, I can now use you for mine. I merely wish to know whether he has told you anything about himself, about his loyalties...his _true_ loyalties."

Had Cassi had control of her limbs, she would have frozen in fear. _He suspects. Merlin's beard, he suspects that Snape's double-crossing Voldemort._ She knew Snape was treading dangerous waters, and now the currents may have carried him too far from shore - she might be the last hope of escape before he was swept over the waterfall and dashed to pieces at the bottom.

Malfoy straightened and began to pace as he continued in his silky voice, "I have my suspicions. Up till now, Snape has always been at the Dark Lord's right hand. Now is my chance to take his place! Can you imagine the tortures the Dark Lord would have in store for one who had so thoroughly betrayed him?" Cassi squeezed her eyes shut. _Yes, I can imagine it._ She could not, under any circumstances, tell Malfoy anything. It would be the end of Severus' life if she did.

Malfoy paused his pacing to stand behind her. "The sleep drug is still heavy in your body, so you won't be able to talk for a few more hours. But rest assured, my dear, I will be back to hear what you would like to tell me." With one last sneer, he strode from the room.

The resounding clang of her dungeon door echoed hauntingly in Cassi's ears until the narcotic claimed her again.


	31. Killing Words

"You're said to be the teachers' favorite student. Do they treat you as an equal?"

Silence.

"I would imagine that they enjoy having a younger friend; maybe some of the professors seem unusually kind to you. Have you noticed that?"

Still nothing.

"I wouldn't be surprised to know that a particular few of them even feel more comfortable around you than around their own peers. Don't you think so? They probably feel more free to talk to you about their troubles."

Not a word. Not even a sound.

"Could it be that some of them wish to make you their confidante, and tell you things about themselves that no one else knows? Has that happened to you before?"

Nothing.

A sigh. Then: "I can see, my dear, that you've opted for intractability. I would advise you to reconsider - however, you must do what you feel your conscience tells you." A quick glance. "I have no doubt that you will warm up to me, but I would suggest that you do so sooner rather than later. The consequences otherwise might not be at all to your liking."

* * *

It was later that same morning. Snape, Remus, and Sirius had already left, and the rest of the Order was a nervous wreck. Tonks would periodically wail, "Oh, why did I let him go without me?!" The others sympathized with the young Metamorphmagus, whose hair was now black, but also wanted Cassi back. Nothing else was spoken of besides the mission and Cassi. Kingsley could often be heard muttered consolation to the others, generally something along the lines of "The girl needs rescuing, and ain't nobody better than Snape to find her". Someone was even heard to comment, "They'll be married someday, you know - Cassi and Snape." Everyone was so surprised to hear such a thing that no one knew who had actually said it, but it didn't really matter since it had only been said to divert attention from the young girl's predicament. Cassi was missed by all, but none felt her loss heavier than the Weasley twins.

Ever since they had gone looking for her last night and been unable to find her, George had been furious with everyone and everything. He blamed people for not hearing the kidnapper; he blamed the lunar cycle for making the night so dark and concealing the villain so well; he blamed the Dark Lord for the whole thing; most of all, though, he blamed himself for failing his adopted sister and best friend once again. He stormed throughout Grimmauld Place, making his annoyance at being left out of the rescue mission known. Everyone made sure to stay out of his path.

Fred, on the other hand, suddenly became very quiet after the recovery team left. He disappeared, no one knew where, and couldn't be found for many hours. Mrs. Weasley was beside herself with fear for both Cassi and her two grief-stricken sons. Everyone tried to comfort her, but she refused to be placated. She was in hysterical tears all day, frantically repeating, "Oh, my darling boys! Will they ever recover? They're too young for all this! And my poor sweet Cassandra! What's become of her? She's like another daughter to me...and the boys love her so! Will they ever recover from this blow?" And on and on she went.

The day passed in fearful anticipation. No one knew how long the three men would be - would Cassi be back before dinner? Order members milled around the house anxiously, glancing at each other tensely and praying the men wouldn't be too late. By three in the afternoon, no word had come from them, and Tonks was becoming violently unstable. She kept running into tables and doors as her mind left Grimmauld Place and flew to wherever Remus was, until finally Kingsley, who was standing in as Head of the Order, had to flat-out order Tonks to go rest. She refused at first, but when she broke down and began crying it was easy enough to direct her manually to her room. She didn't reappear that day either.

Dinner came and went. Nobody even thought of food, though lunch had been similarly disregarded. It almost felt like a sin to engage in such a normal activity when an innocent girl was most likely being tortured, and three very important wizards were risking their lives to try and rescue her. All anyone could do was pray that they'd either receive an optimistic message or see the individuals themselves on the doorstep soon. But neither was very likely.

Finally Fred reappeared, his eyes red and raw and his shoulders slumped in defeat, and croakily asked after George. Being in each others' presence comforted them both, and by ten o'clock that night they had retired quietly to the room they used to share with Cassi. Ron later swore that he could hear them crying throughout the night.

* * *

Silence reigned in the dungeon.

A frustrated voice: "Well, I shan't pester you any longer, since my presence is so obviously distasteful to you. But fret not, my dear, I shall return in a few hours, and we shall resume where we left off."

Footsteps fading. They pause. Then: "When I return I hope you'll be a bit more cooperative - I give you fair warning, I don't like to be disappointed. If you are as... _unvocal_...as you have been so far, you shall have more to fear from me than a few bruises."

The footsteps resume, then fade to nothing. The dungeon door slams shut, and the prisoner within finally lets tears fall.


	32. All or Nothing

"What did Snape tell you about the Dark Lord? What did he say about Dumbledore?"

Cassi probably couldn't have answered even if she wanted to - she had been in this dungeon for 72 hours now, and during that whole time she had not uttered a single syllable. Her lips were dry and chapped and probably fused together in her efforts to keep from betraying Snape, but so far she was succeeding. In the back of her mind she wondered if anyone was coming for her, or if she was going to die in this dungeon. The thought frightened her; if she had to die at the ripe old age of fourteen, a dungeon was not her location of choice. Not that she particularly wanted to die young in the first place. But what else could she do?

Confessing was not an option. Cassi knew that. She would much rather be tortured and die than be the reason for Snape's death. She would kill herself first.

However, her body was starting to betray her; she hadn't eaten in three days and her last drink of water had been at least twelve hours ago. Her constant tormentor hadn't left her alone for more than three hours at a time and tortured her in fourteen hour sessions. She suspected that Malfoy took an Endurance Potion, giving him the stamina necessary to interrogate her for so long. But the hours and the wounds inflicted by both curses and Malfoy's cane were taking their toll. Cassi knew her skin was starting to cling to her thin frame like in the pictures of war prisoners, and her hair and skin were filthy and caked with blood. She couldn't focus her thoughts for very long, and everything felt surreal. She fervently hoped that either someone would come for her very soon, or that she would be allowed to die very soon.

A stinging welt on her leg snapped her foggy attention back to her present state. "What did Snape tell you?" Malfoy hissed at her furiously. He had never been able to hide his frustration, but now he was losing control of it. The cane came down again, this time across her shoulder and neck. An angry red stripe appeared right on top of another one, and Cassi couldn't help but wince. The benefit of her dehydration was that it helped dull the pain; she couldn't muster the energy to be bothered by the blows.

Another half-hour continued in this manner, until finally Malfoy whirled away. "This isn't over, Renner," he snarled over his shoulder. "You'll regret ever having tried to keep quiet. You'll regret ever having laid your eyes on Snape before I'm done!" With that he was gone. _I already do regret ever having laid my eyes on Snape, but not for the reason you think, you twisted, evil being,_ she mentally retorted. _It's because of me that you even suspect him._ _If I'd never met him, he wouldn't be in danger. And neither would I._

Cassi knew Malfoy would be back soon. Her head lolled to the side as she finally let herself relax, as much as her sore muscles and burning skin would allow. Yes, she wanted out of this place. So much so that right now, death sounded as wonderful as rescue.

* * *

The flap of the tent was roughly shoved aside, and Lupin entered.

The other two men looked up sharply and watched as he tiredly sat at the table beside Sirius. Staring at the polished wood in front of him, he slowly nodded.

Snape and Sirius glanced at each other. Their camp was set up less than a mile away from Malfoy Manor, which Lupin had been probing with various spells and enchantments for the last four hours, trying desperately to learn whether Cassi was being held there. It was one of the first locations they had suspected, and in Snape's mind there had been little doubt that this was the place. But now they knew for sure. She was there. Cassi was less than a mile from them. She was close, and hopefully, she would last long enough to be rescued.

Snape dropped his gaze back to his hands, which lay calmly folded on the table. To his own amazement, he was incredibly collected right now. His omnipresent furious rage was not gone, just not so out of control as before. His presence of mind was back - and now he was starting to realize how hopeless this mission was.

First of all, they were three men trying to break into a fortified, alert home of a known Death Eater. That alone was crazy. Then, they were going to try to sneak in, rescue a hostage who was kept under lock and key and probably guarded, and sneak back out without being detected - or at least without being killed. This, of course, was assuming that said hostage was still alive and sane, which at this point was doubtful. Snape wasn't sure why she'd been kidnapped, but it was likely that Malfoy needed information about the Order and hoped to torture it out of Cassi. And Snape knew she would never willingly betray anyone...even him, despite the fact that he'd been so cold to her. He knew for a fact that Malfoy had learned next to nothing from her, even though she'd been held for three days now.

Three days. Snape wanted nothing more than to charge to Cassi's rescue, to rush in and fix this whole situation, to be the good guy in her life like he used to be. But he knew that one wrong step, one false move, and their plan would collapse around their ears. One or all of her would-be rescuers would be killed, and Cassi herself would most likely be tortured into insanity and then killed. And that would not happen while Snape was still in control of his senses. So he would wait. Wait and plan, and when the opportune moment came along, he would snap it up without a second thought.

"Sirius...what if she's dead?"

A quiet, pained voice brought Snape out of his thoughts. He looked up in surprise to see that Lupin's eyes were red and his hands were clenched together on the table. Sirius stared at him a moment in surprise, then replied smoothly, "She won't be, Remus, don't be such a pessimist-"

"Sirius, you know as well as I do that her chances of still being alive are almost nonexistent," Lupin stated simply. "She is almost certainly dead by now. What if that's true?" Sirius, clearly the optimist of the two, put a hand on Lupin's shoulder. "Don't think like that, it won't do anybody any good. We'll go and rescue her, and in a few days she'll be back to her happy, healthy self. You'll see, Remus."

Lupin stood from the table abruptly, startling both Sirius and Snape. "There is a high probability that she will _never_ recover from whatever Malfoy has done to her," he retorted, "and everything that happens to her is my fault. Dumbledore put me in charge of the Order while he was gone, and I failed to protect the Order. If she has been tortured, if she has been killed, because of incompetence or irresponsibility on my part - I couldn't live with myself. What if she's dead?"

Snape was done. "Enough," he snarled as he stood. Lupin's gaze snapped to him, and Sirius looked back and forth between the two. Snape continued in a rough but subdued tone, "The kidnapping is not your fault. You are no more to blame for her capture than any of the rest of us - and some of us bear more blame than you. The Weasley twins, for instance. The three of them are supposedly inseparable companions and yet it took nearly six hours before they realized she was missing? If they had stayed by her, there would have been little to no chance of her having been taken. Mundungus Fletcher, too - if our suspicions are correct, and he was Confunded and used to capture Cassi, then he certainly bears a part of the blame. He always knew the risks of dealing with the characters he did, and sometimes he made mistakes. Let this one be upon his own head."

Snape slowly sat back down at the table, and Remus followed suit. Snape glanced at him. "And it was more my fault than yours, Remus," he said quietly. "I made a mistake where she was concerned, a terrible mistake...Cassi asked me to protect her. She...she respected me, and trusted me to be there for her. She asked me to keep her safe, and I told her that I would...and here we are, trying to find her and praying she's still alive." He looked Lupin in the eye. "If she is dead, it will be my fault. I will bear the consequences, whatever they be, for the opportunity to apologize to Cassi. I know she'll never forgive me, and she shouldn't - but I will show her by my actions that I still care for her."

Sirius and Remus stared at the man sitting across the table from them. He had once been cruel, once been honorless, once been a traitor. It was obvious to the two former Marauders that Snape was none of those things anymore. There was unspoken agreement among the three men that they would hold each other in slightly higher respect from now on.

A companionable silence fell over the table. Lupin was more composed now, and Snape had grown pensive...but Sirius just couldn't take the solemnity anymore. With a grin and an elbow to Lupin's arm, he asked casually, "So, do tell, Severus, are you and Cassi together, then? Because I just have to say that you make an adorable couple..."

Snape slowly looked up and stabbed Sirius with an unreadable look. "Black, I believe you may be the only person still alive who has ever used the term 'adorable' to describe me."

Sirius calmly looked right back. "Oh, no, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to give the impression that I thought _you_ were adorable. Cassi brought it all with her. I'd ask you what it feels like to be referred to as adorable, but of course, I already know..."

This made Lupin crack an unwilling smile, and before anyone knew it, all three were laughing. Snape chuckled quietly, glad that there was some form of camaraderie within the group. Maybe it was a sign of good luck to come.

And they would need all the luck they could conjure, because tomorrow could be the last day any of them ever saw.


	33. When All Goes Dark

It was the fourth day of her confinement, and she knew she wouldn't last much longer.

Cassi's head snapped unpleasantly as she reeled from a blow. There were bruises everywhere from Malfoy's heavy hand and cuts that wouldn't heal because of special magic, and her whole system was worn down from resisting truth drugs. She was pale from loss of blood and she was rail-thin from starvation, and she figured she looked terrible - but she was past the point of caring. The only thing that mattered was staying silent. No words, no screams, nothing. Not a sound, no satisfaction for her tormentor. No words. Silent as the grave...silent as the grave...silent-

Another blow fell. Cassi's head whipped the other way this time, and she heard her spine pop. A searing pain shot down her arm - her shoulder had been popped out of its socket. But that took second priority, because Malfoy was beginning to turn truly nasty. "You're a disgrace to wizardkind," he snarled, "you're a sorry excuse for a witch. You won't be let back into that school after this, no one will want you - damaged. Clearly it's already begun; where are your rescuers? Who's coming for you? Who's going to risk their lives for you, a no one? You're pathetic, and your only hope of usefulness is to _tell me_ what you know of Snape so that lives can be spared. One of them being yours."

His face leered uncomfortably close to hers, but she ignored him. She had hardly even heard his insults; her mind was elsewhere. Cassi had learned on her second day that the best way to keep quiet was to think of other things. She had also discovered that it was hard to keep her wandering mind off Snape. So, for the past three days, her head had been filled with nothing but thoughts of Snape. Everything he ever said, everything he ever did, every insult he gave, every expression he made - all of it came back. Not a single word or glance escaped her memory. And she learned, from this extensive study of his character, that she had loved him all along.

It wasn't hard to see when Cassi looked back, even though at the time it had all been so confusing. Given a different vantage point, she finally began to truly see the kind of sufferings Snape went through, and how hard it was for him to decide to love her. She admired his strength, and she had promised herself that she would stay just as strong now. She would not cry, no matter how alone she felt or how much it hurt. She was doing it all for him.

She was jolted out of her thoughts by a sudden connection with the wall. Her back slammed into the unforgiving stone, then she dropped to the floor. She looked up in surprise - the magical ropes holding her to her chair had been severed for the first time, and Malfoy was advancing with his wand held menacingly and a manic expression on his face. Cassi wondered if he had cracked and was finally about to kill her. Closing her eyes and resting her head on her hands, she let out a sigh of relief - the first sound she had made in four days. She would be happy to be free from this torture, so so happy...

She felt a hand grasp her hair and yank her head up. She opened her eyes to see Malfoy kneeling on the cold floor beside her, a cruel smile on his lips. "Not yet, Miss Renner," he whispered in her ear. "I couldn't kill you yet. I have to show you something first." He stood swiftly and whirled around, casting a spell behind him that lifted Cassi and threw her across the room. She collided with the opposite wall and slumped down, feeling blood trickle around her ear.

"You have not even begun to see the things of which I am capable!" Malfoy snarled. "I have been ever true to the Dark Lord and his ways - _I_ should be the one constantly by his side. You cannot take that from me." With that, he raised his wand and uttered the incantation she had been expecting to hear since the moment she was captured - "Crucio."

She immediately began writhing on the floor. Her skin was crawling with the pain, there was so much, it was everywhere, intense pain, rising from the center of her body and spreading and clawing its way to the surface of her skin, only to turn around and burrow right back through. It felt like minutes passed before she was left with only the phantom memory of the pain. Malfoy advanced on her.

"I am stronger than you think, Renner, and you are mistaken if you think I would spare you pain by killing you quickly." He raised his wand again. "I will kill you slowly - by pain. You will die of pain, and there will be no one to laugh but me. How tragic. Goodbye, blood-traitor."

And the pain began again.

This curse was stronger than the last, and Cassi finally gave in. She screamed. She didn't care that she had promised not to make a sound, she didn't care that she seemed weak, she didn't even care that Snape was still in danger. She just screamed. She screamed until her voice cracked and no more sound came out. The pain lasted forever.

When the pain stopped, it took her a while to notice. The memory of the pain hurt her as much as the real thing did. But eventually she realized that something wasn't right. She felt herself beginning to lose consciousness. She slowly opened her eyes, wondering if Malfoy had changed his mind about killing her slowly, but immediately shut them again. A bright, silvery light pervaded that cold dungeon, chasing away the darkness and the pain that there was so much of. She could hear someone yell a curse and a thud as a body dropped to the floor, but couldn't see what was happening. Eventually the glow faded, and Cassi could feel the darkness taking her, but her ears caught a few words from the same direction the light had come from. She figured she must be hallucinating, though, because they didn't make any sense.

"Malfoy, I've spent many years fighting alongside you. Let me give you some advice - don't keep underage witches locked up in your dungeons, it looks unprofessional. Why don't I do you a favor and take this one off your hands?"

Her foggy brain thought that was a terribly clever thing to say, and she fell asleep with a smile on her face.


	34. Curveball

When Cassi woke up, she had no idea where she was. She just knew she was no longer in the dungeons of Malfoy Manor, despite the unreassuring darkness she was lying in. It appeared that she was on a bed or couch of some sort; it wasn't particularly soft, but to her, it was the most comfortable thing in the world.

She tried to sit up to survey her surroundings, but only made it to her elbows before she was restrained by a firm hand on her arm. She glanced over to find its owner and froze at the sight of Snape sitting in a chair by her head with a book in his hand. Their eyes met, and Cassi just stared. He looked just like the real Snape; but it couldn't be. Snape watched the face he had been afraid he would never see again, expression unreadable. A moment later he shifted and said quietly, "You shouldn't be sitting yet. You're not strong enough." She didn't move, so he set down his book and gently pushed her shoulders until she was lying down again. It didn't take much effort - the girl was frighteningly thin and pale, having lost weight and blood due to excessive starvation and continuous torture. Still staring at him, she tried to ask where they were. Her mind wouldn't let her utter the question - for four days she had trained herself to keep quiet, and she could not so easily break her habit. She still had a looming, oppressive fear that any sounds from her would betray Snape, and so she kept silent. Luckily, Snape knew what she wanted to ask.

He shifted uncomfortably again, sitting back in his chair and picking up his book. "Spinners End," he said, looking at the page in front of him. "I originally took you back to Grimmauld but there were far too many hovering mothers getting in my way, your terrified boyfriends among them." His lips quirked in a tiny smile as he added, "Those twins are afraid of nothing until it comes to you. I call them into detention and the most I get out of them is apprehension - you get injured and suddenly I have two blubbering old ladies on my hands." Cassi smiled a little in response, still silent. Snape looked up at her, then continued quietly, "I wanted to get you out because I knew it wouldn't be restful for you at Grimmauld, but I didn't know where else to take you. My house was the first place I thought of; I can guarantee peace here and I have all the necessary potions here for your healing. I hope this is alright?"

Cassi still couldn't convince herself that it was ok to talk again...surely this was some trick of Malfoy's, some magically imposed hallucination to lure her into carelessness? And yet, whether he was real or imagined, the figure sitting beside her looked so apprehensive that she couldn't help but smile at him to try to reassure him. It seemed to work; he relaxed slightly and nodded, then returned to his book. Her gaze on the ceiling, Cassi sighed mentally and wondered if she would ever really be free from Malfoy.

* * *

"Did Malfoy ask questions about the Order?"

It was five days since Cassi was rescued, and a select few of the Order were present at a special meeting to address Cassi's situation. At the moment, Dumbledore was asking Cassi about her time in Malfoy Manor. He stood at the head of the table at Grimmauld, while Lupin sat next to him, Kingsley and Sirius sitting nearby. Cassi sat nervously at the opposite end of the table, Snape behind her with his hands on the top of her chair. His presence was comforting to her, but she still hated this interrogation - she had not spoken a word to anyone since before her capture, so Dumbledore was limited to yes-or-no questions. She still felt uneasy about communicating so much information about such important subjects. Slowly, she shook her head. No, Malfoy had not been very interested with the Order as a whole.

Those in the room exchanged glances. It had been generally believed that Malfoy was under orders to obtain information about the Order of the Phoenix, and now it was becoming obvious that they really had no idea what had happened. "Well then, did he ask anything about the Order?" Cassi kept her eyes on the table as she nodded. Well, yes, it had come up a few times. But Malfoy hadn't focused on that part.

"What about the Minister? A Weasley works in Fudge's cabinet, and it's widely known that you're a good friend of the family." Cassi shook her head again, more urgently this time. They were getting further from the subject. "Was it centered around something pertaining to the Order?" _Yes, yes, getting closer._

Dumbledore and Lupin exchanged glances. "Did he seem interested in any particular member of the Order?" Lupin asked, thinking Dumbledore's activities might have been a popular topic. His theory was reinforced when she nodded, and she nodded again when asked if the member was in the room at the moment.

Then he asked quietly, "Was it Dumbledore?" And she shook her head.

The tension in the room eased a little bit until Dumbledore asked sharply, "Was it Severus?" Tension levels skyrocketed again. No one had thought of that, but as they considered it, information about Snape could be just as dangerous as information about Dumbledore in the wrong hands. So many of the Dark Lord's plans had been thwarted thus far because the Order had inside information, courtesy of Snape - if he were exposed as a traitor, Voldemort would be unpredictable once again and exponentially more dangerous.

Cassi nodded and shut her eyes. Yes. Oh, yes, Malfoy was very interested in Snape.

That man closed his eyes too. Fate was too cruel. He had finally made his peace with his past and was ready to reconcile himself with Cassi, but of course he had to be exposed as a spy - and, of course, it had to be Cassi that had led to his downfall. He would be hunted down, probably tortured, and then he would be killed, all because Cassi had certainly let something slip about him. Snape wasn't angry at her - he couldn't be - but he did not want to be torn away from her. There was no doubt that she had betrayed him. If a Death Eater wanted answers, he got answers. That would explain why she wouldn't speak to him. _She must feel guilty..._ Snape hoped that he could get Cassi to open up to him once again, one last time before he was found and killed.

Lupin took over the questioning, since Dumbledore seemed to have forgotten where he was as he brooded over this turn of events. "Did Malfoy want to know about Snape's participation in the Order?" A nod. "Did he suspect Snape was a traitor to the Dark Lord?" A nod. "Did he ask you specifically where Snape's loyalties lie?" A nod.

The room grew deathly still. "And what did you tell him?" Lupin asked quietly. He slid a piece of parchment and a quill to her. "Write it down if you have to." Defiantly, Cassi lifted her gaze and shook her head firmly. "You mean to say that you told him nothing?" Kingsley asked incredulously. She nodded. She felt Snape's hands tighten their grip her chair. Dumbledore walked around the table to stand next to her. He bent down to eye level and asked her seriously, "Did you say anything at all to Malfoy?" She looked the headmaster in the eye and shook her head. He probed again, "Did you say a single word to him, concerning any topic?" Still keeping eyes contact, she shook her head again. She saw Dumbledore's eyes flash to where Snape was standing, and she wanted to turn and see what was happening. But she kept looking into Dumbledore's light blue eyes, and eventually he turned to the others with a short laugh.

"Well," he said with a lighter note in his voice, "it appears that we have escaped the beak of the hippogriff unscathed. Malfoy learned nothing of Severus, and we remain a threat to the Dark Lord." Virtually everyone in the room sighed in relief - except Snape. There was no room in his head or heart for anything but one thought - _What did she suffer because of me?_

* * *

Snape and Cassi were back at Spinners End after an emotional day of interrogations and revelations. Snape helped Cassi walk to her makeshift bedroom - even after five days, she was still dangerously thin and not altogether steady on her feet. And she had horrifying nightmares. She had no idea that Snape knew about them, but he did. He had installed her in the living room, since she could not climb stairs in her condition, and had then decided to stay in the adjoining library himself. He wanted to be close to her in case the nightmares became too much and she needed him. He made sure she was comfortably settled on her couch, then he retreated to the library. He had to get a grip on everything he'd learned today.

He stared out a window as he thought about the interrogation which he had had to perform. He had confronted Cassi after the Order meeting, hoping to ease his conscience concerning her tortures. No such luck. He had been appalled to learn of the things Cassi had endured, and he felt crushing guilt. Cassi had endured starvation, beatings, interrogations, _the bloody Cruciatus curse,_ for him. Because he had let himself get too close to her. He'd never felt more guilty for anything in his life, and that included the time he called Lily a Mudblood.

 _So Malfoy wasn't after the Order_ _at all,_ he reviewed to himself as he sat on the edge of his couch, head in his hands. _He wanted to know about me. He suspects me. He somehow knew that Cassi knew the truth about me...and she stood up for me._ That was the part that blew him away. That Cassi had tried to keep his secret touched him, but the fact that she actually _succeeded_ meant that she was very, very determined to keep him safe. Which meant she really did care what happened, which might mean...

 _No,_ he told himself sternly. _Don't even go there. There's no reason to expect her to love you..._ His own arguments sounded half-hearted, even to himself. He knew very well that he would not be going back to ignoring and forgetting her. He lay back on the couch and stared at the ceiling.

He knew he loved her. It was about time to see if the feeling was mutual.

* * *

 **A/N: Hello to my readers! If you've made it this far, thank you for sticking with Cassi and Snape all this way. Sadly, the next chapter will be the last. It's time to see if all this was worth it!**

 **Thank you again to all of you; you inspire me like nothing else!**


	35. Swear by the Stars

Severus Snape was beside himself. He darted from room to room, tearing his house apart and searching for the one thing most precious to him in all the world. The thing he had misplaced, somehow, and absolutely _had to_ recover.

Where could she be?

He had left Cassi sleeping relatively peacefully in the living room, just as he did every evening. She had been going to bed long before the sun set, so Snape was accustomed to softly opening the door joining the living room and the library when he was ready to turn in for the night, usually several hours after she had fallen asleep. He would lean against the doorframe, sometimes for minutes and sometimes for much longer, and watch her breathe. He couldn't wrap his mind around the fact that she was there.

But tonight, she wasn't, and he was frantic.

It had been three weeks now since Cassi's rescue, but she still would not speak or walk on her own. Snape felt that she was physically _able_ to support herself enough to walk alone now, but whenever he mentioned it, Cassi gave him such a heartbroken and vulnerable look that he couldn't help but agree to help her. So, in theory, she would not move from the living room without Snape to help her...and yet here he was in the living room, and she most certainly was not there.

He had checked every room in the house; Spinners End was not miniscule, but at the same time, there weren't many places to hide. Snape finally ended up back in the living room and slumped against the wall. _Alright, Snape, clear your head. You've got to find her. She's not in any of the obvious places, or most of the obscure ones. She wouldn't have left the house, would she?_ The sound of his quiet breathing filled the room for a moment. Then he let out a frustrated sigh and slapped his palm to his forehead. _Snape, you're an imbecile._ He nearly sprinted out of the room.

Crossing the kitchen, Snape cautiously approached the back door. Sure enough; the deadbolt had been drawn back and it was slightly ajar. Hoping not to spook whatever creatures happened to be nearby, he eased open the door and surveyed the scene before him.

There on his back steps sat a tiny figure with long brown hair and a white nightdress, gazing at the night sky and its crystal stars. A few scarce clouds floated lazily along the horizon, partially obscuring the huge white moon. Snape watched the girl for a moment, not wanting to disturb her, but eventually whispered, "Did you walk out here by yourself?" She nodded slightly in response, apparently not at all surprised to hear his voice. He gently shut the door and sat down beside her.

Snape let silence reign for a minute or two. Then Cassi turned to him, her blue-gray eyes questioning as they shone in the moonlight. He searched her face for a moment, then asked quietly, "Are you happy here?" At her confused nod, he pressed, "Even living here with me? You are happy?" She nodded again, more emphatically this time. Snape shifted. She looked even paler than usual in the moonlight, and it was late. She must be exhausted. But Snape was done trying to hide his emotions. He needed to come clean, and the sooner the better. But then again...could he, in good conscience, ask for even more from this woman? Cassi had already subjected herself to more than he wanted to think about just so he could have another chance at life. He couldn't ask for more...all he could do was show his gratitude. So that's what he decided to do.

"Cassi," he began softly, "I want you to know that I think you're very brave. Not many people would willingly make the decision that you did. I am...touched, very touched, that you would endure so much for me. And it's becoming increasingly obvious to me that it is not within my power to repay you, or to show sufficient gratitude. However, I will try..."

He paused, unsure how to proceed. He was distracted by Cassi's eyes, which had lost lustre during her imprisonment but were beginning to regain their customary sparkle as he continued to speak. Taking a steadying breath, he slid from his seat and knelt on the step in front of Cassi, gently taking her hand. She watched in growing amazement as he spoke in the most sincere tone she had ever heard him use: "I have nothing to offer you except myself. I offer you a pledge that I will stay by your side through everything, that I will never abandon you with or without your consent, that I will love you and care for you for the rest of my days, that I will protect you and comfort you and do everything I can to be the person you need most. Cassi...wonderful, precious Cassi...will you marry me?"

He watched as she stared at him. One movement of her head, a shake or a nod, a smile or a frown, would determine his future. Their future. Snape watched as a single tear trailed down Cassi's cheek. _Well, that could be good or bad..._ He wanted to look away, but forced himself to stay still and keep his eyes on hers. He had come this far, and he would not back down now. She, for her part, never looked away. Finally Snape saw a nearly-imperceptible smile lurking at the corner of her mouth.

Snape heard a soft sound that could have been the wind brushing against the grass; it took a moment for him to realize that Cassi had spoken. He had not heard her voice since before her capture - until tonight. This night that would forever be etched into his memory.

She had overcome her fears so she could whisper tearfully, "Severus, I will."


	36. Epilogue

"George! Harry! I'm not going to tell you again!"

A thin woman wearing an apron stood on the back stoop of a small but comfortable house, hands on her hips as she surveyed the scene in her backyard. Two young boys of about six and three were squatting in the mud building fortresses. The older boy looked up at her; he had ragged black hair and eyes as blue as the woman's. His little brother kept his dark eyes on the lump of dirt he was shaping, staring through waves of brown hair. The woman had to hide her laugh at how hopelessly muddy they were.

"Come on, Harry, Mum says it's time to go in," coaxed the older boy. Harry just shook his head obstinately. George frowned, at a loss for what to do. Then, with a gleam strangely reminiscent of one his namesake was famous for, he glanced slyly at his brother and offered, "I'll race you for my last Chocolate Frog."

In a flash, Harry was on his feet and halfway to the house. "Never catch me, George!" he yelled back triumphantly. George immediately took off, but it was rather obvious to their mother that he purposely let the younger boy win. As Harry darted inside and began a victory dance in the kitchen, a surprised George received a warm hug and a kiss from his mother, who ignored the mud that was certainly now covering her, too.

"That was very smart and very kind of you, George," she whispered with a smile. The boy looked up and grinned. "Love you, Mum," he said as he planted a muddy kiss on her cheek. She laughed and shooed her sons out of the kitchen. "I love you too. Go clean yourselves up before your father sees you, you look as though you barely escaped a hippogriff attack! And don't you dare get mud stains on my towels!"

She stood listening to the two sets of footsteps recede up the staircase. Then she turned to the still-open back door and looked out at the sunset, a contented smile on her face. Suddenly a pair of arms caught her from behind, surprising a squeak out of her. A deep, quiet voice murmured in her ear, "Did you miss me?" She sighed and replied softly, "Well, I thought for a moment you were a werewolf or something, but you're not, so it's fine now. And yes, I did miss you."

She leaned her head back onto the man's shoulder and smiled. She watched as his onyx eyes took in her face and clothes, obviously noticing the mud splattered there, and an eyebrow was raised as he asked, "Had a little run-in with the boys, did we, Cassi dearest?" He brought his thumb to his tongue and proceeded to rub her cheek where George had kissed her. A tiny smirk played about his lips, which caused Cassi to move away from him suddenly. "Severus Snape, don't you dare smirk at me in that disrespectful manner!" she cried playfully. "We both know that I am ruler of this household, and I will not tolerate such insubordinance!" He just smiled wider, then gently pulled her into his arms. "And you rule with an iron fist," he agreed as he felt her melt into his arms. She just hummed in submission.

They spent a few minutes like that, Severus watching the sun set and Cassi burrowed comfortably into his chest. When the orange disc was completely gone, Severus shifted and whispered into his wife's ear, "You should get some sleep, my love; the party's tomorrow and we've got to be up early if we want to make it to the Weasleys' by 9." Cassi sighed but didn't move. Severus smiled into her hair. "Who's being insubordinate now?" he teased her, eliciting a chuckle. "I believe I am," she responded, raising her head to smile at him. Their lips met in a kiss until Cassi broke away, her face serious.

"What's wrong, love?" Severus asked gently. Cassi allowed herself to be distracted by a speck of lint on his shoulder before answering. "Well, dear," she began, "I have some news." She paused as he cocked his head to the side. Cassi waited as his eyes narrowed in concentration, then widened in realization as he figured it out. Cassi knew he had used a non-verbal Homenum Revelio. "Another one?" he asked despondently, and Cassi laughed at his response. "Yes, another one, and if you ask nicely, I'll even let you name him," she said sweetly. Despite their banter, they both felt the underlying current of fear - Cassi had never fully physically recovered after a life-threatening kidnapping many years ago, and her last two pregnancies has been difficult and frightening for both parents. Despite Severus' concerns, Cassi's resolute desire for children of her own prevailed, and despite all the worries and problems, they found the end result well worth it. So now, mixed with their fear, Severus and Cassi felt elation and peace. "Will I really get to name him?" asked Severus hopefully. Cassi swiftly replied, "No, but I figured if I told you that, you might behave yourself a little better." Severus swept his wife into his arms and asked innocently, "Now when have I ever misbehaved, dearest?" Cassi giggled at his antics, then rested her head on his shoulder as he carrived her toward their bedroom.

Cassi came out of the bathroom a few minutes later, having changed into her nightdress and prepared for bed, to find her husband standing at the window watching the moon. She padded up behind him and slid her arms around his waist, earning a silent sigh from him. A minute later she spoke up, "Do you think we should tell the family our news tomorrow?" Severus replied thoughtfully, "Probably not, because George and his family won't be there, and you know how he feels about being in on everything that happens around here. He would never let me rest if he wasn't the first to know." Cassi sensed his eyes roll and chuckled softly. "True...we can wait. It'll be our little secret for a while, then." Severus didn't respond, and Cassi got the feeling that he was worrying about her. After ten years of marriage she didn't pretend to know everything about her husband, but she had learned to tell when he was worrying. It happened a lot.

"Severus," she said gently as she let go of him and came to stand by his side, "please don't worry about me. I know we've had some trouble in the past, but it does no good to worry. I've got a whole host of Weasleys who love to take care of me. And you. You've been there for me through everything, Severus. I know you'll be there for me now."

Severus wanted to argue that nothing was certain, that the unexpected sneaks up on everyone, that bad things happen to good people. But with the love of his life standing in front of him, two wonderful sons asleep down the hall and a third on the way, he couldn't make himself be so pessimistic. All he could do was take Cassi in his arms, hold her close, and promise, "I will be there for you every time, my love - never doubt it."


End file.
